"I don't NEED to put my children in daycare. But I want to."

This mum is in a predicament and not sure what to do.

I’m mum to two children. My little girl who is three-(and a half)-years-old and a baby boy, aged two. And I’m very fortunate that I’m in the position to never have to return to work. My husband works for the taxation department and is on a very good salary. Being an only child myself, when my mother recently passed away I received a decent inheritance.

So when I fell pregnant with my daughter, it just made sense for me to leave my sales job indefinitely. I was tossing between going back or being a full-time stay at home mum. But then I fell pregnant with my second child and decided the best option for my family was to be home with them.

While being at home all day with two children under five is a handful, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Except lately, I’ve become concerned with one big thing.

Their socialisation.

Being an only child, I found socialising very difficult myself. It wasn’t well into adulthood that I became comfortable talking to strangers and meeting new people. Getting a job in sales forced me to do that.

But I worry that unless my children get an early start, they may not develop the skill that I missed out on as a child. I’ve already noticed that my daughter is very reserved. She’s hesitant around new people and doesn’t like attention.

She becomes very shy when people dote on her and sometimes even starts to cry. My son is a little better but not by much.

My husband and I have discussed putting them in daycare, purely for them to meet other children and to develop their social skills. I’m not quite sure what I would do all day without them at home. It makes me worry that I might become lonely not having them around.

But my husband thinks that if we’re in the position to do so, that we should.

The whole idea does make me feel a little guilty. Some of the other mums who attended my mother’s group are working mums. They’re constantly telling me about how difficult it is for them to get a position for their child.

They’ve put their name down on waiting list, after waiting list, after waiting list.

My husband actually has a close friend whose wife runs a daycare centre that isn’t too far from our house. He’s told my husband that if we would like our children to go there, his wife has already told him she can make the arrangements.

I haven’t told anyone at my mother’s group because I’m scared that they will judge me. But if I end up sending my son and my daughter, I’ll have to tell them. I’m scared that they’ll isolate me because I have it much easier than them.

But I do need to do the best thing for my children. I think sending them to daycare is the best thing I can do for them.

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