'One tiny mistake on my wedding day, that's all it took to destroy my relationship with my mum.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

The lead up to my wedding was one of the happiest times of my life.

My partner Bryan* and I had decided to keep things simple. We just wanted to be surrounded by the people who mattered most to us; our families and close friends. As we were writing the guest list, I found myself hesitating over one name: my Aunt Julia*.

For my entire life, I'd known there was drama in the family around mum's younger sister. My mum never spoke about her, and if her name came up, she'd immediately get moody, or she'd just say she didn't want to hear her name.

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The story I'd been told was that Julia had slept with my mum's fiancé 25 years ago, and ended up marrying him.

That betrayal destroyed their relationship, and no one in the family ever forgave her. So, she was effectively erased. It was like she didn't exist anymore.

My Dad told me that Mum and Julia had once been close, so I can only imagine this tore her apart, not having her sister in her life.

But when I was in my early 20s, I found Julia on social media and sent her a message. We started staying in touch and have caught up a few times. I didn't let my Mum know this as I knew she'd hit the roof.

Julia was lovely to me and said how much she regrets what happened between my Mum and her, but she can't change the past. She never once bad-mouthed my mum. She didn't bring up the past unless I asked, and even then, she simply said it had been a terrible mistake, and she had spent her life living with the consequences.

So when it came to my wedding, I thought: why not? It had been a very long time. People grow, people change. I didn't expect a full family reunion or reconciliation, but it felt wrong to keep punishing someone for a mistake made decades ago.

I didn't tell my mum that my aunt was coming to the wedding. And now I realise that's where I went wrong.

Julia came to the ceremony only, at my request. I'd told her it might upset some people if she stayed for the reception, and she completely understood. She arrived just before I walked down the aisle and sat at the back and slipped away once the vows were over.

She didn't try to speak to my mum or stir anything up. She just wanted to see her niece get married. It was a beautiful day. But the fallout began the next morning.

My mum had been told that Julia was at the services, and she was furious. She said she'd been completely blindsided and felt humiliated that I'd invited Julia without telling her.

My dad backed her up, saying I should have at least warned them. My older brother called me "disrespectful" and accused me of choosing sides. I tried to explain that I hadn't invited Julia to hurt anyone. I wasn't taking sides; I just didn't want to keep holding onto old anger that wasn't even mine. But no one was interested in hearing it.

Since then, things have gone downhill. I was uninvited from my cousin's baby shower, removed from a family group chat, and my mum told me she's not sure if she wants me at her house for Christmas.

The message is clear: if I want back in, I need to apologise and promise never to speak to Julia again. But I'm not sure that I can do that. What I did wasn't meant to cause pain. But I also believe people deserve second chances.

Julia made a huge mistake, yes. But she's paid for it every day since.

She didn't come to my wedding to stir drama, she came because I invited her. And honestly, I don't regret doing it.

Bryan has been supportive of me, but it's hard not to feel sad when your family starts turning away from you. These are people I've loved my whole life, and suddenly I'm being treated like a traitor. I realise I could've handled it better by giving my mum a heads-up. Maybe had a private chat before sending the invite.

But deep down, I think the reaction would've been just as explosive, no matter how it played out.

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What's worse is knowing Julia feels guilty all over again. When I told her what had happened, she offered to write my mum a letter, or even apologise once again in person, but I told her not to. It wouldn't make a difference. My mum isn't ready to forgive, and maybe she never will be.

So now I'm the one left out.

All because I offered a little kindness to a woman who'd been exiled for most of my life.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature Image: Canva. (Stock image used for illustrative purposes).