Something strange has happened to celebrity homes.

There was a time not so long ago when celebrity homes went delightfully off the rails.

Think Dakota Johnson's mid-century treehouse. Her 2020 Architectural Digest tour was a cultural reset. The moss-green kitchen. The bowl of limes. The quiet chaos of a woman who owns too many lamps and only opens the door for people she actually likes.

It was warm, and weirdly warm — a home that said, "This place is mine."

And we fell in love. 

For those not up to speed: the lime-filled kitchen in question. Post continues below.

Only for Dakota to later admit she was allergic to limes and had no idea why they were there — a betrayal that shook us all. But the aesthetic? Immaculate. Gaslight us in green, queen.

That tour raised the bar for celebrity homes. 

Then came Kim.

Kim Kardashian's Calabasas compound is the spiritual opposite of Dakota's jam-scented nook. It's vast. Pale. Echoey. She glides through it like she's afraid to wake the floorboards.

The kitchen? Beige. The bathroom? Beige. The mood? Beige.

It's not minimalist. It's the architectural equivalent of saying, "I'm fine" through gritted teeth.

Surely not. Image: Instagram/@kimkardashian

One by one, post-2020, celebrity homes caught a case of beige fever — a highly contagious condition spread through oat lattes and moodboard culture.

The weird is gone. The fun has been feng-shui'd out. Giraffe statues, pink marble bars, entire rooms for artisanal salt — all replaced by "earthy textures" and furniture designed by people who've never sat down.

Cara Delevingne — patron saint of architectural chaos — gave us one last hurrah in 2021. Gucci wallpaper. A Playboy arcade. A literal vagina tunnel. It was deranged in the best way — but it may have been the final gasp.

In 2024, her home caught fire and was sold.

The era of weird? Gone up in smoke.

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Now? We get homes like Kendall Jenner's — sleek, earthy, and elegant, but so styled it feels like it's waiting for an open house. Her Architectural Digest tour had rounded furniture, muted tones, and a sofa that launched a thousand moodboards. Pretty, but impersonal.

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's "zen" mansion is more of the same: beige walls, soft lighting, and not a trace of real life in sight. It's minimalism with the warmth dialled down.

And Sofia Richie Grainge's place? Pure quiet luxury. Tasteful, yes — but you could swap it with half the homes on Pinterest and no one would notice.

See? Image: Instagram/@sofiagrainge

Every house now resembles a high-end Airbnb owned by someone quietly working through something.

And honestly? I get it. 

After years of actual global chaos, beige feels like control.

I've stood in the Aisle of False Promises at TK Maxx holding a $60 Cocolux candle, whispering, "Maybe this will fix me." I've got the cloud couch saved on my Pinterest (and I'm still not unconvinced…). My drawers are full of Lululemon sets.

For a while, the quiet felt good.

But lately? It just feels... quiet.

Somewhere along the way, we stopped decorating for ourselves and started decorating for the algorithm. We muted the chaos. We Marie-Kondo'd the joy. We made our homes Instagrammable — but forgot to make them ours.

In chasing the calm, we vacuumed out the soul.

But I think the tide is turning.

Gigi Hadid's infamous pasta-filled kitchen cupboards are getting a nostalgic reappraisal. Hot pink cowboy boot vases are going viral on TikTok. Frog-shaped candle holders. Disco balls in bathrooms.

The internet's craving colour again. Chaos. Charm. A little personality, please.

The other day, my sister tried to convince me Loewe was selling an heirloom tomato-shaped candle. Not tomato-scented, tomato-shaped. 

She swore she'd seen it. Described it in detail. Vines, dimples, the whole horticultural fantasy. It doesn't exist. 

I checked. Twice. But she insists she can still picture it.

Maybe it's her inner whimsy rebooting. If yours is too, good.

Clear a shelf.

The limes are coming.

Read more home articles here:

• 'I transformed my sad beige home with dopamine decor. This is how.'

• 'Apparently these 7 items make your home look cringe and…guilty.'

• 'I'm obsessed with home decor, these are the best items I found under $50.'

Feature: Instagram/@kourtneykardashian @sofiagrainge.