Ricky vs Angelina. Who do you choose?

The week started with the end of a cricket test match (we lost to New Zealand on home ground for the first time in 18 years) and George Clooney was in Sydney still answering questions about his private life. The two have nothing in common right? Hold up, that’s not quite true.

Before you read the post, see how many people in this gallery you can name… You can find the answers here.

John James writes:

Let’s start with a gross generalisation. There are two types of people in this world; people who follow sport and people who follow celebrity gossip. I have no idea if this is true. I can’t back this up with facts, but let’s just run with this for a moment.

Now, I am firmly in the sports-loving camp.  I view professional sport as one of the pinnacles of human achievement. I am in awe of professional athletes and what they can do with their bodies. I am amazed at their skills and abilities. I can vicariously live my fantasies of sporting glory through the sports stars I see on TV. Other people look at sport as a vanity contest between groups of self-obsessed genetic freaks. A waste of time and money that could be better spent on solving world hunger and finding a cure for cancer.

At the same time, I struggle with the media’s obsession with celebrity gossip and I can’t comprehend why anyone is actually interested in the private lives of the rich and famous. And yet, I can’t deny that many people enjoy reading and viewing celebrity gossip. It gives them a way of vicariously living the lives of money and privilege that only the rich and famous get to experience. And yet a little voice in my head says to me, shouldn’t they instead be celebrating the lives of people who try and solve world hunger and find a cure for cancer?

At first glance, people who like to follow sport and people who like to follow celebrity gossip seem to have nothing in common, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that the opposite is true. Firstly, both sport and celebrity gossip give us things to talk about with our friends. They are like the lubricant of social cohesion. Now I may have nothing in common with you except a love of sport, but knowing this allows me to start a conversation with you. It’s a big part of my life, and I love to chat with friends about sport. Other people like to chat about the latest celebrity gossip stories with their friends and family for exactly the same reasons I like to chat about sport. Celebrity gossip and sport are essentially fulfilling the same role in our lives, but to different groups of people.

Secondly, both sport and celebrity gossip allow us to belong to tribes. In the same way that you may follow the Rabitohs or the Pies or the Swifts, you might instead follow Team Kardashian, or Team SJP, or Team Jennifer. Whereas I like to follow the ups and downs of the Sydney Swans each week, you might instead like to follow the ups and downs of Lindsay Lohan or Brangelina. Again, sport and celebrity are fulfilling the same role in our lives.

Of course, sometimes these two worlds can mix and blur. Think Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle, or Tiger Woods, or the Beckhams. But even when mixed, it seemed to me for a long time that the world of sport and celebrity could not cohabit the same space at the same time. You were either a subject of celebrity gossip or a sportsperson – not both. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Tiger Wood’s exploits on the 19th green only became public after he became injured and began losing golf tournaments. David Beckham could never quite bend it the way he used to after marrying Posh. And since Michael Clarke split with Lara Bingle, he has found form again, and was elevated to the most important job in the land…Australian Cricket Captain.

But then along came Shane Warne and Liz Hurley, the optimus-prime of celebrity sports cross-overs. This one pairing could do more to bring together the competing tribes of sports-lovers and gossip-followers like nothing else. Think about it. Shane Warne has just signed with the Melbourne Stars to play in the 20/20 Big Bash competition and is to play professional cricket in Australia for the first time since he retired from the Australian team in 2007. Liz Hurley is sure to join him out here for part of the summer. In my head I see the following scenario. After bowling a hat-trick to get the Melbourne Stars into the final of the 20/20 Big Bash, Shane and Liz announce that they will marry in a glitzy ceremony during the half time break of the final in front of 90,000 people at the MCG. This will be the perfect storm of sport and celebrity gossip and will unite the country like nothing else. And then, you know…world peace!

So the next time you scratch your head and wonder why someone is so obsessed with Billy Slater, just think of it like your obsession with Princess Mary. And if you don’t understand why anyone would want to know who George Clooney has hooked up with this week, think of it like wondering if Chris Judd could possibly win a third Brownlow in 2012.

See? We’re not that different after all!