Six women told us exactly how they caught their partners cheating. They all said this one thing.

Discovering you've been cheated on is a particular type of pain.

It's a sick, gut-wrenching pull that starts behind the navel and works its way to your throat. That sensation remains true whether you've just had long-held suspicions confirmed, or if you've been subjected to the blindside of the century.

In a recent survey, Mamamia readers courageously told us their cheating stories. They charted in painful detail the red flags that emerged in the weeks and months leading up to the discovery.

Listen: Mia, Holly and Jessie dissect the Coldplay 'affair' — and what the Internet did next. Post continues after podcast.

Hindsight may be 20/20, but from the responses of dozens of women, clear patterns and trends emerged.

The most frequently mentioned red flag, one that appeared over and over, was a change in phone habits. Multiple respondents noted their partners would suddenly became protective of their devices.

"He always had his phone with him. It never left his pocket," shared one reader. Another described how her partner was "hiding his phone screen from me, going outside or to another room to take phone calls."

One woman noticed her partner would be "not reachable via call, only texts", whilst another observed his "phone never coming home, never answering calls."

One respondent said her alarm bells started ringing when she noticed "messages" and the fact he always had his "phone off," while another said, "he stopped allowing me to GPS monitor his location. Otherwise I had no indication that he was having an affair."

The second most common warning sign was a shift in emotional connection and general behaviour.

"His whole mood changed, very distant," was how one reader described the change in her partner during his emotional affair. Others noted partners becoming "distant and uninterested" or were having more and more "late nights, (with) uncontactable" behaviour.

Another woman said she noticed "money that was unaccounted for." She explained that: "He 'missed' trains after work and was extremely late home. He was evasive and became distant."

Several readers mentioned their partners becoming "less inclusive" or showing a "lack of interest in my day-to-day life."

Sudden interest in personal grooming and appearance also featured prominently in responses.

"He shaved his pubic hair, which he'd never done before" was one reader's lightbulb moment. Another noticed their partner was "buying new clothes and being distant and secretive about purchases."

One respondent observed how both her husband and his affair partner "suddenly dressed and presented themselves differently, shorter skirts, cologne."

Watch: The moment a woman discovers her partner is cheating. Post continues after video.

The takeaway.

While the stories shared with us may have uncovered commonalities, there is one thing not captured; the pain each person experienced when they discovered there was a third person in their relationship. Affairs don't just break hearts — it shatters entire realities, and leaves you questioning everything.

Looking at the responses side by side, what emerged is the importance of listening to that inner voice. What was particularly striking is how many women ignored or rationalised the warning signs at the time.

"I ignored the red flags for months," admitted one respondent.

It's easy to see why. It's no easy thing to trust those instincts when we desperately want to believe everything is fine, or when the one we love is telling us "we're just overreacting" — to face the hard task of saying goodbye to a relationship where the trust is gone, or, rebuilding something that has been broken.

But the truth is, if something feels off it probably is. Don't try and over-rationalise it.

As one reader put it: "My gut feeling was right."

The pain of betrayal may be universal, but so too is the human capacity to rebuild, whether that's repairing a damaged relationship or finding the strength to start anew. As one reader wisely noted: "It was a horrible period of my life, but life goes on."

Feature image: Getty.