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Caroline stood by her mum Gisèle Pelicot in court. There's one question she'll never get answers to.

Caroline Darian will never forget the moment her world shattered forever.

It was a Monday night in 2020 when her mother, Gisèle Pelicot, called. Her father, Dominique Pelicot, had been arrested for upskirting a woman in a supermarket. It revealed a devastating web of lies.

Mr Pelicot had been drugging his wife for almost 10 years and filming her, unconscious, being raped by him and over 50 strangers.

He put powerful tranquillisers into his Gisèle's food and coffee that put her to sleep for hours. As she slept, Pelicot allowed men he recruited via online chatrooms to abuse his wife.

She never knew about the abuse, until police found the footage as a part of their investigation into the supermarket crime.

The news was a shock to Gisèle, who told her daughter over the phone.

"At that moment, I lost what was a normal life. I remember I shouted, I cried, I even insulted him," Caroline, now 46, told the BBC of the initial phone call. "It was like an earthquake. A tsunami."

Last year, Dominique was sentenced to the maximum 20 years in jail. Caroline believes it's what her father deserves, saying he "should die in prison".

All of the 50 co-accused identified in the investigation were also found guilty of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault and were given varied sentences between three and 15 years.

The youngest abuser was just 22 when he entered the Pelicot's bedroom, while the oldest was in his early 70s. Many had children and were in relationships.

Gisèle Pelicot outside court during the trial.Gisèle Pelicot inspired women across the world. Image: AAP.

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"Did he abuse me?"

During the case, Caroline told the court she believed her father had abused her, but didn't have proof.

"I know I was sedated. It's not a supposition, it's a reality. I know it," she said.

Photographs of Caroline asleep, wearing "someone else's underwear", as well as photographs of her naked were found on Mr Pelicot's computer.

In her memoir, I'll Never Call Him Dad Again, of which an English edition is imminently to be released, Caroline recalled that at first she couldn't recognise the woman in the photographs as her.

"I lived a dissociation effect. I had difficulties recognising myself from the start," she told the BBC."Then the police officer said: 'Look, you have the same brown mark on your cheek... it's you.' I looked at those two photos differently then... I was laying on my left side like my mother, in all her pictures."

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When the realisation hit, she couldn't process the news.

"I force my eyes back to the images, and finally the veil drops from my eyes. I start to shiver, my vision is disturbed by a host of tiny starbursts, my ears start ringing and I jerk back in the chair," she wrote, in an excerpt shared with The Guardian.

"The officer calls in my brother. Florian kneels before me, holds my hands, and tells me to try to breathe along with him. Someone finally thinks to fetch me a glass of sugar water.

"How did he manage to take my photo in the middle of the night without waking me up? Where did the underwear come from, as I'm sure it's not mine? Did he drug me? Did he go beyond the photos? Did he — I can't keep the unthinkable at bay — abuse me?"

It's the one question she may never know the answer to.

Caroline confronted her father about it in court, but he denied abusing her. Mr Pélicot looked directly at his daughter insisting he never touched her or his grandchildren.

"You're lying," his daughter screamed across the courtroom.

"You don't even have the courage to tell the truth.

"You will die in a lie. You are alone in your lie," she said.

Gisele's eldest son, David Pélicot said he believed his sister had been abused by his father.

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"If you have any little bit of humanity left, tell the truth of what you did to my sister, who is still suffering every day and will suffer all her life," he said to his father.

Caroline Darian's advocacy for invisible victims.

Speaking after the sentencing, Gisèle said she hoped the public's involvement in her case would help other women who have suffered sexual abuse.

"I think of the unrecognised victims whose stories often remain in the shadows. I want you to know that we share the same fight," she said.

"It's not courage. It's determination to change things.

"This is not just my battle, but that of all rape victims."

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Caroline shares this same determination. Her new book explores her family's trauma and also delves into the issue of chemical submission, the use of drugs to perpetrate sexual assaults.

Since her father's horrific crimes were thrust into the global spotlight, Caroline has made it her mission to fight chemical submission and its "invisible" victims.

Caroline is coming to terms with living with the "terrible burden" that she is the daughter of both a monster and his victim.

"When I look back, I don't really remember the father that I thought he was. I look straight to the criminal, the sexual criminal he is," she told the BBC.

She describes her father as "one of the worst sexual predators of the last 20 or 30 years".

Speaking to The Guardian, Caroline explained, campaigning is "a way for me to recover some kind of dignity".

As her family continues to slowly recover from the fallout of the horrific crimes, Caroline said she is looking ahead.

Her mother, whose powerful testimony galvanised women across the world, is "recovering" from the mammoth three-month trial but "doing well".

"I'm really proud of my mum," Caroline told The Guardian. "She has opened the door. She has led the way for other victims of sexual violence. She's told them they're not alone any more. That is strength. So to me, she's a hero … And she did it brilliantly.

I'll Never Call Him Dad Again, Allen & Unwin, $32.99 will be published on January 14.

Feature image: AAP.

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