Warning: This story mentions capri pants, which can be triggering to some readers — including myself, but as the writer, I have no choice but to put aside my lifelong trauma for the sake of this story.
I'm not going to mince my words: I hate capri pants. I despise them with such a burning passion that when I discovered they were coming back in style, I sat in my room for about three days questioning why the world was out to get me and my poor ankles.