'I texted my friend to catch up in the new year. Her reply made my heart sink.'

As someone who has formed a career writing about relationship and friendship dynamics, trends and stories, you would think I would've figured out my own social life by now…

Well, I haven't. And that became super clear a few weeks ago.

It's that time of year leading up to Christmas and New Year when everything is… a lot. It's a lot of work, a lot of family, a lot of friends, a lot of money and a lot of stress.

Due to the seasonal busyness, our usual day-to-day gets difficult. Weekly drinks with the girls become 'whenever you're free' drinks. Doctor's appointments become 'I'll just drink some orange juice and suck it up'. And long overdue catch-ups become 'Can we catch up in the new year when everything's chilled out?'

Recently, I was confronted with the fact that not everyone is busy during this time of year.

Watch: Horoscopes & breakups. Post continues below.

I have a very close friend who I see once every few months. We live far away from each other, so our relationship largely exists online. Whenever we do make plans to see each other, no matter what mood I'm in, I'm immediately elated. Every time we catch up, we don't stop yapping until the restaurant politely tells us that they need to close.

We celebrate each other's wins, grieve each other's losses and comfort each other's heartbreaks. It's a solid friendship.

For about a month, we had been trying to coordinate our next catch up. For me, organising anything in December makes me want to throw my calendar in the bin.

I admit, I now know I'm not the best person to be friends with during this time of year.

Every time we would land on a date where we were both free, I would then always say something along the lines of, "Could we please reschedule, I have a last-minute work event I need to attend", or "I have to go to my parent's house to help them decorate", or "It's the only day I have free to buy last-minute presents."

Eventually, I got sick of myself and didn't want her to feel like she wasn't a priority, so I messaged her and said, "I feel bad for always cancelling. This month is so crazy — could we move our catch up to the new year? Is there any date in Jan that works for you?"

A few hours later she sent a message back that made my heart drop. She said, "To be honest, I would really love to see you whenever you can. I feel like everyone is putting me on hold until next year."

This message made me realise that I had been foolish in assuming that everyone had as hectic of a schedule as me during this time of year. Foolish because I should've known that my friend wasn't one of those people.

She doesn't celebrate Christmas, she works throughout the end-of-year holidays, her family live overseas and she's only been in the country for a few years. For her, this specific time of year is like every other time of year.

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, as a Western society, we adopt a lot of the culture around the holiday. We prioritise catching up with family, big lunches with friends, shopping for presents and attending work functions.

We push everything that doesn't fall into the "end-of-year plans" onto the next year, forgetting that there are people who don't have any end-of-year plans at all. And those people are just waiting for us to finish being busy so that we can return to normal programming.

After this text message, I cancelled some of my events and had dinner with her that same week.

I apologised for my carelessness, and we had the best time together (until the restaurant, once again, had to tell us that they were closing).

My friend told me how she knows that this time of year is busy for most people, but she felt like whenever December rolls around, every single person in her life wants to pause their relationship with her until January.

Seeing her also made me realise how much joy I get from our friendship and that the reason I push so many of my catch ups to the new year is because that's just what everyone does. In reality, I'd much rather see the people I love instead of going to events or buying presents.

So if your friend wants to catch up with you this month, just say yes.

If you want more relationship content from Em Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Supplied.