"Help. Can I ask my friends who smoke to stay away from my baby?"

Thank goodness none of my friends were smokers when I had babies.

It was bad enough taking my precious little ones out and about and having to deal with the stench of cigarettes at every turn, without worrying about the effect the smoke was having on them.

If I could have put those little paper masks on their faces I would have. Instead I learned not to use the main entrance to the local shops because that’s where all the smoker’s stood, and avoided other places I knew smokers were around.

Unfortunately I had a far more serious problem.

My dad was a smoker, and he thought nothing of smoking while my siblings and I visited with new babies. Even though he had taken to smoking outside, the smoke would waft into the house and we’d have to yell out, “Put it out Dad, the smoke’s coming inside.”

He would grizzle and grumble but eventually stub it out.

Still, his clothes stank! The smell of smoke clung to him. We were all very uncomfortable with him holding the babies when they were newborns and were incredibly relieved when he eventually quit.

Holly and Andrew ask, “Can you ask your smoker friends not to hold your baby?” Article continues…

It’s still a huge problem for new mums who are doing their best to protect their vulnerable babies from as many toxins and diseases as possible. And let’s face it, those people who do still smoke are a stubborn bunch. They get pretty defensive about their nasty habit.

Asking them to keep their stinky hands and foul-smelling clothes away from newborn babies can cause a huge amount of tension, leaving new mums with a choice to make.

“Can I really still be friends with a smoker now that I have a newborn?”

A pregnant woman took to Reddit to talk about her feelings about smokers who may visit her baby.

She’d already started to worry about it and had come up with a plan of action, but asked users for feedback.

Would it be considered rude to ask people to wash their hands before touching the baby after smoking? I have a lot of smokers in the family and currently live with my inlaws so a lot of people will be around the baby. The way I see it is, I am not out to win a popularity contest. My job is to be a mother so if someone gets pissy at that request too bad, as long as my baby's healthy and well being is protected...CherriPi.

The consensus from users was a resounding "yes", and stinky smokers need not stop at washing their hands, with more than one user saying a change of clothes and maybe even a shower isn't an unreasonable request.

Anyone who has smoked in the last 4-6hrs needs to wear a different shirt when they hold baby. Just draping a blanket over their shoulder isn't good enough. The smoke actually lingers in clothes a bit and baby will breathe it in. 

One user talks about "third-hand smoke" which MayoClinic talking about concerns over "residual nicotine" clinging to clothes:

Thirdhand smoke is generally considered to be residual nicotine and other chemicals left on a variety of indoor surfaces by tobacco smoke. This residue is thought to react with common indoor pollutants to create a toxic mix. This toxic mix of thirdhand smoke contains cancer-causing substances, posing a potential health hazard to nonsmokers who are exposed to it, especially children. MayoClinic.

There are claims "third-hand smoke" can cause asthma, allergies and even cancer, although there are no proven links.

It's accepted for visitors to newborns to be expected to wash their hands or use hand sanitiser, to stay away if they are stick and now most friends and family need a whooping cough booster shot before visiting a newborn.

And CherriPi hits the nail on the head when she says, "My job is to be a mother so if someone gets pissy at that request too bad, as long as my baby's healthy and well being is protected..." and people's reactions to women who are simply doing their best to protect their babies as best as possible are their damn problem.

A simple text after the birth announcement would suffice, or a lovely note like the one this user OodalollyOodaloll wrote after the birth of her baby:

I think a very loving handwritten note posted on the front door is the best! "Dear family and friends, we are so happy to have you meet and hold our baby! As a precaution we are asking everyone to please thoroughly wash hands before doing so, especially after smoking. We hope you don't think this is a strange or offensive request, it is flu season you know and newborns have low immune systems. Thank you, we appreciative it so much! Love ____"

Although user probablygaia thought a more straight forward request was better than a "passive aggressive" note, saying a similar note to her family ended with them feeling uncomfortable visiting at all.

The general rule of thumb needs to be, whatever the new mum says, goes.

Respect the mother and leave the ciggies at home.

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