Q. Hi Erin,
I have been with my fiancée for almost five years. We own a house together and have a 19-month-old son. My fiancée has a male friend whom she’s been friends with for ten years. To be honest, I never really liked the fact that she has a heterosexual, attractive male friend. For four and a half years, I’ve been supportive of their friendship — but always observant.
They have gone out for lunches, drinks, and she goes to his house alone to buy marijuana. Their friendship began with their love of weed and partying, as many do in one’s early 20s. She sold weed for him, and they lived together for two years.
When I first started dating my fiancée, I asked her if they’ve had anything more than a friendship. She said, “No, absolutely not.” She said she has always seen him as a friend and often refers to him as her kindred spirit.
About a month ago, I was cleaning out our basement, and I stumbled upon an old diary of hers from ten years ago. I began reading it and saw that she wrote about possibly having a crush on him and that she wasn’t sure what kind of relationship she wanted with him.
I then got curious and found old pictures on Facebook of them kissing each other’s cheeks, him with his hand on her breast, and one with him and her straddling a horse statue (with his hand on her inside thigh pretty close to the v).
Recently, he — we can call him Al — has been having relationship problems. He had a girlfriend of three years that he broke up with because they’d decided to swap with another couple, and Al’s girlfriend started going back for more on the down low. So they broke up, and he started dating another girl. This second girl is into orgies.