Someone invented a camera for your dog to use.

“Oh, I’d LOVE to see a bunch of photos your dog took.” said no one, ever.

Photography has gone to the dogs.

Literally.

Nikon have invented a dog-mounted camera that you can strap to your pooch.  It uses your animals heart rate as trigger for the shutter. So anytime your dog gets hyped up over something, it triggers the button.

“What a fun idea!” I thought, imagining my own dog as a pho-dog-rapher.  But then reality hit.

Dogs get excited by everything. Other dogs butts.  Freaky cats.  Chicken carcasses. That yoghurt that expired three weeks ago and somehow was snuffed out of the kitchen bin.

Strap this camera to your pooch and you’ll get the incredible dogs-eye-view of adventures of other dogs butt holes, close up poo and massive dirt holes. Thrilling.

The world is already drowning under a torrent of pointless selfies and shit photos. Do we really need a Facebook album titled “Max’s Asphalt Memories” with 18 pictures of different dogs shits?

The ad, which is voiced from the point of view of a snappy, tech savvy dog says cheerily “I can show people what I like! I can show the world who I am.”

Which is stupid. You’re a dog. And you can’t even see in colour.

Here’s the full ad:

Also, nice idea, Nikon, but when my dog gets excited it runs, shakes, pants and flops around like a toddler at a party. Taking a photograph that is even legible would be near impossible.

Save yourself the money: This is what your dog is taking pictures of:

More dog stories:

The mutts who have better lives than you: Meet Rich Dogs of Instagram. Ugh.

Fact: Dog people are better than cat people. And cat people must accept it.

An open letter to my dog (who I now ignore because I have a baby).