"I was a woman possessed..." The horrific ordeal that is Buying a Pram.

Months ago, I was gloriously oblivious to the world of prams.

They all looked the same to me. The only difference I ever noticed was that there was one brand with a white, circular logo that lots of celebrities and rich people seemed to have. (Yep, I’d never even heard the word Bugaboo.)

I had no idea pram shopping was just like buying a car. Except more confusing.

Both a couple of months pregnant, my friend and I ventured into Baby Bunting – the Bunnings of baby stuff – to initiate ourselves into this new world.

We wandered aisle after aisle after aisle of wheeled baby-movers, becoming increasingly overwhelmed with the selection, which ranged in price from a couple of hundred dollars to more than $2000.

Unguided, we started pressing buttons and moving parts to try and make them do something worthy of the prince tag (easily a return flight to New York).

We began pushing them around the store, in an attempt to find what made any of the many models different to the next.

Then we just started choosing which ones we liked the look of better.

When a sales assistant finally came near us, we asked what the hell was so special about some models that they demanded hundreds or thousands of dollars more than another. The answer? “It’s just personal preference.”

What’s the difference between having three and four wheels? “Personal preference.”

What’s so good about a Bugaboo? “Some people just like them more, personal preference.”

And with that, we gave up on prams and wandered off into a different section, pondering different questions, like: ‘What’s a teat?’ and ‘When do babies start eating food?’

Whether prompted by the underwhelming assistance we received or the overwhelming feeling that we were way out of our depth, we fell into fits of laughter.

Like delirious hyenas, we tried not to wee (incidentally, getting in some extra pelvic floor exercises). And then the tears came…

Hormonal, nauseated and confused, with no prams and no further knowledge about what we were even looking for.

Another weekend and an in-depth explanation of each of the models in-store at a more boutique-type shop later, I found myself pushing a fake baby down a busy, inner-city street, too distracted by testing the pram’s suspension and ease-of-pushing to notice that I looked like a crazy lady.

And, just like that, I was officially converted.

And not just converted, I was a woman possessed. I needed to know all of the pram things now.

I went to a coffee shop across the road, notebook in hand, and weighed up the pros and cons of each different model I’d test-driven.

I Googled reviews, compared prices and obsessed over photos until my head was so cluttered with information that buying a pram was all I could think about.

The options were endless. It wasn’t until I bumped into a new mum I vaguely knew who advised me to stop agonising and just choose one that I finally made a decision and the buzzing in my brain died down.

Even now, as my shiny, new pram waits patiently in a box in my room until it has an occupant to fill it, I’m still completely enraptured by them.

Whenever one crosses my path, I stare at it, searching for clues as to which make and model it is. I silently list the pros and cons and check out any pram bling – including coffee cup holders (also known as a ‘liquid holster’, depending on what brand you’re buying), pram caddies (for your phone and wallet), liners, toys and covers – for inspiration.

But seriously, first world problem though it is, knowing what to look for with all the options available is confusing as hell.

And if you’re about to do it, to save you some befuddlement, here are some differences between the prams that pretty much look the same:

• Some are forward and rear-facing (so the baby can face its parent and out to the street), others are not;
• Some have lots of storage for nappy bags, handbags and shopping, others do not;
• Some have a separate bassinet for young babies, others have a seat that folds down flat;
• Some can be adjusted to fit another kid if you’re planning on having a second baby soon after (apparently kids use prams until around the age of three);
• Some fold down more easily than others;
• Some are lighter and smaller than others; and
• Some have three wheels (and may be able to used for jogging), others have four (apparently making them more stable).

That is officially the extent of my pram knowledge.

So, good luck with it all. And remember, the baby won’t give a hoot about what it’s being pushed around in. Your sanity is far more important.