Busting the motherhood myths

One of the biggest myths about being a parent is that everything is rosy all the time and that in the first few months in your new role as 24/7 carer you will feel constant joy and elation! 

Yet, according to results released last month from a UK Parenting website, Babycentre, Mums are almost promoting this myth with 53% of women admitting that they felt compelled to lie about their child and the experience of motherhood in order to put a positive spin on things.

The Secret Life of Mum Survey revealed that many women admitted to having lied about how they were coping mentally by glossing over any incidences of postnatal depression, frustration or boredom.  A point of which is further supported by the fact that out of the working mums interviewed, three quarters admitted to feeling relieved to go back to work on a Monday morning.

Results of the survey also brought to light the fact that it is totally normal for parents to feel some kind of resentment or dislike towards their children at one time or another.  Two fifths of mums admitted to feelings such as these, with the same number of respondents confessing to comparing one child unfavourably to another.

New parents also reported a range of ‘mummy mishaps’, with one in three forgetting to strap their baby into their car seat.  However, Prime Minister David Cameron may not be so comforted to hear that only two per cent of mothers said that they had ever left their child behind when out and about.

One of the biggest findings in this particular study however was the fact that, more often than not, Mums are doing all the things that they say they don’t, but just behind closed doors!  For example, nine out of ten Mums surveyed admitted to using the television as a means of keeping the kids entertained and giving them some much needed peace, with many adding that it was often also on during dinner time, as well as being used at bedtime in place of a story.

This isn’t the first study to reveal that parent’s lie in order to avoid being judged as bad parents however, with other sources revealing that other lies commonly told by parents are usually in relation to topics such as their babies’ sleep, milestones and bad habits.

A survey conducted by NetMums found that a fifth of those interviewed admitted lying about pretending their child is sleeping through the night, a parental lie that appears commonplace the world over with News Limited reporting similar findings back in 2010.

The conclusion from all these surveys therefore is synonymous with one thing, and that one thing is people’s need for acceptance.  The fact that a parent tells a few little white lies all relates back to their need to be seen as good parents, with the pressure of society in addition making them feel that they need to have the perfect child in every way. 

The reality is of course that children aren’t perfect, and nor are we as humans or parents!  Having a child is without doubt one of the most challenging things in life.  Babies don’t arrive with an instruction manual, and nor are they always compliant in either their behaviours or sleep activities.

So without further ado, I believe that now may well be the time for us parents to finally start to unite together on this rocky road of parenthood.  Therefore, let us stop piling on the ‘tired banishing’ concealer in an attempt to hide another night’s disrupted sleep!  Let us stop force-feeding the kids with fruit and carrots in company in an attempt to convince others that our children are never exposed to junk food or quick fix snacks!  And, let us stop shaking our heads at the idea of TV as a babysitter, but instead share cartoons and TV shows that will keep the little ones entertained long enough for us to actually drink a coffee in peace!  But, most of all, let’s just start to be a bit more honest with each other and, as a result of this, set the example to our kids that we all universally agree on, ‘honesty really is the best policy’!  

Jo is a 30 something wannabe yummy Mummy living in Sydney.  If she had free time she would enjoy eating chocolate, thinking about dieting, eating ice-cream, pondering over gym memberships and drinking alcohol! You can check out her blog at here or follow her on twitter at @hartley_jo