BUMPER FLUFF: From Car Crashes to Kar Krash Facials

From car crashes to kar krash facials, it’s all been happening in Fluff Land this week. If you’ve missed your weekly dose of celebrity info, don’t stress – we have you covered. So much so we have even included Shetland Ponies dancing to Fleetwood Mac to help you kick-start your weekend. Take a look below to see the top stories from this week’s Fluff files.

1. Not since Jackie O has the United States had a First Lady this utterly fabulous.

Michelle Obama does it all – she presents Academy Awards, she does push-ups on The Ellen Show, and now she’s on the cover of US Vogue. Looking amaze, as always.

Michelle – aka FLOTUS – is pictured on the April 2013 issue in a rocking dress, with a nice green wall and some flowers.

We’re not sure what else to say, other than she looks great and we want to be her. A lot.

2. You’re not going to believe what Charlie Sheen has urged his followers to do to a nine-year-old girl accused of bullying his daughter. Prepare to shake your head in despair when you click here.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘We’re left with that specific hunger’

WARNING: the below contains celebrity ‘dietary’ advice. Do not try this at home kids.

Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed she avoids giving her children carbohydrates in the form of pasta, bread and rice – even though they still crave it.

The basis for Paltrow ruling out carbs in all their glorious forms is that everyone in her household suffers from intolerance to gluten, dairy and chicken’s eggs.

“Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs,” Paltrow says.

Confusingly she devotes an entire chapter to grains in her new cookbook, It’s All Good.

She writes: “Every single nutritionist, doctor and health-conscious person I have ever come across . . . seems to concur that (gluten) is tough on the system and many of us are at best intolerant of it and at worst allergic to it.”

So it’s not all good then?

4. Kourtney Kardashian’s boyfriend has body shamed her for not slimming down fast enough after childbirth, Read his despicable remarks here.

5. Miranda Kerr is wearing a neck brace following a car crash in LA.

The Victoria’s Secret model was left with whiplash after being involved in a car accident on Monday.

Her son, Flynn, was not in the car.

But it appears that Miranda will be back on the catwalk in no time. She tweeted to her fans on Thursday: “I am on the mend!”

6. Jessica Biel, Jason Bateman and Matt Damon are refusing to use the toilet and you’ll be wetting your pants at this video explaining why. Click here to see it.

7. Kim Kardashian gets a blood facial and proves that she will do anything for youth/ratings

Is there anything off limits for the Kardashian Klan? No, probably not.

Kourtney Kardashian gave birth on their reality show and now Kim has been filmed having a ‘vampire’ blood facial for the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami.

‘I love trying anything that makes you look and feel youthful,’ Kim said.

During the ‘beauty procedure,’ a large needle drew blood from her arm before the sample was spun in a machine to remove the platelets. The blood was then INJECTED INTO HER FACE via nine acupuncture-type needles.

Naturally, Kim had time to take a selfie and post it on Twitter mid-way through the procedure.

WARNING: If you’re squeamish about blood, this gallery isn’t for you.

8. Laughing ’til we’re horse (get it?) You know what your weekend is missing? Shetland ponies dancing to Fleetwood Mac. Change that by clicking here.

9. Taylor Swift may be dominating the charts, but it seems her face isn’t so popular.

To be more precise – magazine covers featuring Swift have reported low sales over the past year, compared to covers featuring other celebrities.

Her US Vogue cover sold 329,371 copies, while issues fronted by Lady Gaga and Adele shifted 602,000 and 410,343 copies respectively. Glamour and Harper’s Bazaar also experienced low sales of Swift-covered issues. Ouch.

But it seems she’s in good company – Rihanna’s Vogue cover was the magazine’s second-lowest selling issue of the past year.

Take a look at this gallery of other pop stars who have starred on the cover of top magazines. Which ones do you think were high sellers?

10. Elle Macpherson ‘set to marry’ Jeffrey Soffer.

Wait? What? Who’s Jeffrey Soffer?

Lets break this down: He’s 43 and a hotel heir and billionaire. The pair dated for two years before splitting at the beginning of 2012.

Macpherson, 49, and Soffer reportedly rekindled their romance after Soffer was involved in a helicopter accident – with Macpherson flying to his side to provide her love and support.

Naw, it’s the stuff movies are made of.