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'I talk to bullied kids all day. The one thing that keeps coming up is about their parents.'

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The phone rings and on the other end is a 10-year-old, who doesn't want to burden their already-stressed parents. They're being bullied at school.

They sometimes don't want to be here anymore, but mum and dad seem so busy, so overwhelmed already.

So they've chosen, instead, to call a complete stranger.

Scenarios like this are happening across Australia with increasing regularity as the country grapples with the modern bullying epidemic.

Recent data from Kids Helpline shows a rising proportion of calls are coming from children aged 10 to 14 who are experiencing bullying, with some children younger than 10 expressing suicidal thoughts.

Surveys also show that around two-thirds of children aren't telling their parents when they are struggling; instead preferring to reach out to a helpline.

LISTEN: What the parent of a bully wants you to know. Post continues below.

Leo Hede, National Manager of Kids Helpline, said one of the common reasons children do this is because they don't want to burden already stressed parents.

"That's quite often the case," Hede told Mamamia. "We do hear, 'oh I don't want to tell mum and dad. I don't want them to stress out. They're really busy.'

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"It's not a matter of, they don't think they can talk to mum and dad, but they also see mum and dad are stressed and managing a lot. Or there are other things going on in the family, another sibling, who's got some stuff going on.

"So, they're trying to manage this on their own, because of their care for their family."

When it comes to bullying, Hede said the themes younger children discuss are similar to those raised by older children.

"We talk to kids all day, and they tell us that bullying isn't just name-calling — it's exclusion, threats, and feeling unsafe at school and online. Some kids are scared to go to school, others feel like no one listens, and many are left feeling isolated and anxious.

"What they want most is to feel seen, supported, and safe," Hede said. "They're sharing they're feeling unsafe. They're feeling it can follow them home if they're old enough to be on social media. There's a whole mix of things that we're hearing from the young kids."

The calls that really stick with Hede are when children feel especially powerless.

When they've reached out to a school to help, or spoken to their parents, and nothing has changed.

Very young children are reporting being the victims of bullying. Image: Getty.

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He says these kids are aware of the complexities of bullying. That it's not easy for the school to just tell them to stop.

"Their sense of 'Wow, maybe no one is here to help me, and I'm on my own with this' — that's harder knowing they're calling through to a helpline," he said.

"I'm glad we're here for them. That's why we're here, but that sense that they haven't felt able to get this help in their life… so they're calling a random stranger on a helpline asking for help," he explains. It breaks his heart.

When a child does call, phone operators listen and try to tend to the immediate emotion being felt, before moving into the action phase.

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"Sometimes they may not actually start talking about bullying as the initial issue. It may be that they are talking about that they are feeling really sad, that they upset because they are feeling isolated from friends, or they are aware that something is going on.

"As we unpack that and explore what is going on for them, we may go, 'Ok, bullying is at play here,' amongst some other things," he said.

From there, they try to take the child through some steps and actions, including how they can communicate what's going on to their school and parents.

Hede urged parents to be aware of the emotions and behaviour they model around their children.

"Really keep that communication open, ensuring you're making space for your kids to feel safe enough to connect with you," he said, explaining that children pick up on more than we realise.

"Kids are sponges for everything adults do around them, and we have to be very aware of our own actions. Particularly, regarding the language we use about others, or our own reactions to things."

How to create a 'safe space' for conversation.

Kim Harper, manager of Parentline, said the key to creating a safe space for children is not to rush in and "fix" a problem — but to listen instead.

"Parents tend to go straight into this 'fix it' mode and this panic mode," she told Mamamia.

"What we want parents to do is listen. We want to slow it down, we want to help them be that safe, stable, secure team player in their child's life. We want to help them listen and connect and help their kids get their emotions out."

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Harper added that parents should also manage their own reactions, should a child start to open up.

The key to creating a safe space is to not rush in and "fix" the problem. Image: Getty.

"We get this feedback (from kids) about the emotional reaction parents understandably have," she said. "Because what they're feeling is absolutely fuelled by fear, and worry and helplessness.

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"But that overwhelming emotional reaction is also one of the things that is preventing kids from talking to their parents."

Taking a step back may be difficult when all parental instincts are screaming to ban devices and rush in to talk to the school, but by listening you "empower" your child.

"It's up to the kids when they pull (the parents) off the bench.

"That may be straight away, because it may be really significant, like 'I need you right now.' Or, it could be like, 'I just needed to talk to you about this and workshop some things I might be able to do. But right now, I don't need you to jump on in yet,'" Harper said.

"It's really about how we help them slow it down, feel heard, feel seen and feel like they have someone 100 per cent in their corner to support what they're going through and how they want to deal with it."

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

If you have been bereaved or impacted by suicide loss at any stage in your life, StandBy is a free service you can access on 1300 727 247.

Feature image: Getty.

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