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This is the parenting no-no that every single parent in the world is guilty of.

Yes, I bribe my children, but I follow a strict set of rules.

I remember reading a parenting book shortly after toilet training my son and it warned parents against bribing their kids because it sets a dangerous precedent. Like giving my son a fun size Milky Way every time he did a number 2 on the toilet instead of in his nappy in those first few difficult weeks would see him becoming a sloven, lazy, worthless, good-for-nothing adult.

They were just Milky Ways.

I confess that I bribe all my children all the time. And so do most parents. Those who say they don’t are lying, or they don’t understand what bribing is.

This trip to the beach was a homework bribe.

Bribing a child can include the following:

Giving them a treat for good behaviour which includes sticker and stamp charts;

Paying them money for doing chores;

Threatening them with punishment for misbehaviour;

Any time you praise them.

Because it's the reward or the promise of a reward that motivates their behaviour. The reward can be treats, stickers, stamps, money, the absence of punishment and even praise.

Still think you don't bribe them?

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So, I bribe my kids all the time. But there are rules. And if you don't stick to the rules the bribes stop working.

Here is the strict set of guidelines I follow so my parental bribery works to maximum effect, thereby making my parenting experience more pleasant.

1. The bribe is a last resort. Try reasoning first without any reward attached. This has worked twice in ten years;

2. Set up sticker and stamp charts as a regular bribery system over food and money;

3. If you do offer treats for good behaviour, NEVER give them the treat if they don't do what you needed them to do;

4. Make sure the treat is small;

5. Always agree beforehand on the bribe and don't allow last-minute re-negotiations;

6. Don't call them bribes. Call them 'rewards'.

Do you bribe/reward your kids? Are there any rules you'd like to add to this list?

Like this? Then try:

The 7 worst pieces of parenting advice I have ever been given.

The 5 parenting 'rules' that should be ignored or laughed at.

 

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