"Thanks, but I don't need your unsolicited opinion on my breastfeeding."

All three of my kids can look at a baby being breastfed and not bat an eyelid. They’re like, “Oh, little baby, having some milk from their mummy. She must have been hungry.”

Yet apparently Fearsome Fred in the corner needs to dramatically shield his eyes and declare, “YOU CAN’T DO THAT HERE!”

If that makes you feel uncomfortable, allow me to create a visual you can never forget, especially every time you go to do some gardening.

Our nipples are like watering cans, feeding our seeds of life. There I said it. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more it’s possibly the weirdest but most accurate thing I’ve ever said.

WATCH: Explaining nipples to my babies. Post continues below.

“But what do you think about breastfeeding in public?”

Oh, definitely not. If you leave the house, always have an informative conversation with your two-month-old baby. Once you’ve explained they need to wait till you get home because it might make Moaning Myrtle uncomfortable, they’ll be totally on board with going the day without food.

“I don’t know why you’re still breastfeeding after 6 months, it has no nutritional value.”

Thanks, but your comment has no nutritional value. Breastfeeding is natural, amazing and INCREDIBLY nutritional, no matter their age.

“If you feed your baby formula, they sleep better.”

You’d better stop, drop and roll, because your lying pants are on fire. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, really needs to stop with that. I bottle-fed one of mine and I can promise you, she still slept like crap. Whipping out a boob at night is the bomb. No mess, no hassle. No worries.

“Didn’t you only feed them an hour ago? You obviously don’t have enough milk.”

My leaking, lactating boobs beg to differ. My growing baby begs to differ. Their wet nappies beg to differ. They want boobie? They get boobie. They get it for comfort, bonding, hunger, thirst, and pure love. Now quick, avert your eyes because I’m freeing the nip!

“Don’t you want to put a cover on?”

It goes something like this: Cover on. Lift it up to latch baby. Put it back down. Lift it back up when baby unlatches. Put it back on once relatched. Repeat until baby has a hissy fit because WHY AM I COVERED?!

I’ll pass. Be a grown-up and look at my face.

And don’t even mention the word weaning. Mum’s already torn between pulling the plug on Baby Dracula or powering through. Let her decide without your unwanted opinion, because she will feel some serious self-satisfaction if she fights and conquers that battle. In fact, maybe just gift her some nipple shields. You could be her hero.

Don’t be jealous about the perky boobs. They’re great, but they leak.

If a mum is breastfeeding, it’s because the baby wants it. No one’s trying to steal your man and no one’s trying to show off. If your man wants milky boobs, you’ve got bigger issues.

Why is there the need to kick a mum when she’s down? Let a mum feed whenever, wherever, however and for as long as she likes. If she’s struggling, she’ll see a professional. Encourage and support her because she wouldn’t be trying if she didn’t want to.

In fact, if you see a mum feeding, give her a glass of water and congratulate her. I promise you’ll make her day. #freethenip

This content was originally published on the Facebook page Living My Family Life. It has been republished here with full permission.

Katie Bowman is a mum to a 4-year-old girl and 21-month-old twin girls. A part-time hairdresser, she spends her time blogging about her days of chaos.