Every breakup falls into one of these three categories. Unfortunately, so does yours.

Breaking up is hard to do, but apparently we're all doing it in remarkably similar ways — and honestly? We're not as original as we think we are.

A recent study published in Personality and Individual Differences has revealed that — despite our unique personalities and circumstances (and our delusions of being complex, mysterious beings) — most of us fall into one of three breakup categories when it's time to say goodbye.

If movies and TV shows are anything to go by — because fictional entertainment is always the best source of reality and truth, right? — this tracks perfectly. We've been watching the same three breakup scripts play out on screen for decades.

Researchers asked 228 participants in their early 30s to imagine themselves in an unhappy relationship and describe how they'd end it. The results? We're all following the same tired playbook when it comes to romantic exits.

Groundbreaking stuff, really.

Watch celebs give breakup advice at the 2024 Logies. Article continues after video.

The softener.

The overwhelming majority of people (86 per cent) choose the "softening the blow" approach when ending relationships. This method involves the person taking responsibility for the relationship's problems, avoiding blame, and generally trying to let someone down as gently as possible — whilst secretly planning their escape route.

These softies are the ones crafting carefully worded speeches about "growing in different directions" and "needing to focus on personal growth." And look, from one perspective, they're not wrong — they're just trying to preserve everyone's dignity whilst making their strategic retreat.

Sex and the City's Skipper is perhaps the ultimate victim of the "it's not you, it's me" treatment. Every woman he encounters, including Miranda, delivers some variation of the classic Softener speech — telling him he's "too nice," and that they "don't deserve him".

Image: Max

It's the classic approach of taking on blame to make the other person feel better, wrapping rejection in a bow of self-deprecation. But does it really help? Skipper spends the entire series confused and hopeful, constantly wondering if he should change or if there's still a chance. The truth is, avoiding honest communication is sometimes more condescending than kind. Perhaps, in some instances, the most respectful thing you can do is be brutally honest rather than wrapping cruelty in kindness. Just some food for thought.

Taking a break.

Nearly a quarter of participants favour the "let's take a break" strategy. This approach suggests temporary separation to evaluate the relationship, though let's be honest — most breaks are just breakups for people who can't commit to actually committing to ending things.

Rachel and Ross's infamous "we were on a break" situation from Friends is the perfect example of this mess. What starts as a "break" becomes a decade-long saga of will-they-won't-they torture. Ross technically wasn't wrong, but good luck explaining that to Rachel — or anyone with functioning emotions.

Image: NBC.

This group believes in giving relationships a chance to breathe, even if that breath often turns into a permanent death rattle. They're the optimists of the breakup world, holding onto the possibility that absence might make the heart grow fonder rather than just... completely forgetting you exist.

Ghosting.

Sixteen per cent of people prefer the path of least confrontation — ghosting. These individuals would rather slowly fade away than have an actual conversation about ending things, leaving their partners confused, wondering what went wrong, and probably checking missing persons' reports.

Think He's Just Not That Into You, where Gigi spends the entire film analysing every text, call, and interaction, desperately trying to decode mixed signals from guys who've basically evaporated. The ghosters in this film are masters of the slow fade — present enough to keep hope alive, absent enough to avoid actual commitment.

Image: New Line Cinema

Ghosters are probably the same people who would consider using AI to end relationships (yes, that's apparently a thing now, because we've truly reached peak laziness). They've mastered the art of the slow fade, gradually reducing contact until they're just a memory, a collection of unread messages, and a really awkward "seen" notification.

Whether you're a softener, a break-taker, or a ghoster, breakups remain one of life's most challenging experiences — mainly because we're all terrible at them in exactly the same ways.

The study just confirms what we've always suspected — we're all just trying to navigate the messy business of untangling our lives from someone else's with as little damage as possible (to ourselves, obviously).

The good news? At least now you know you're not alone in your breakup strategy. The bad news? Your ex probably saw it coming from a mile away because, well, we're all reading from the same predictable script.

Feature Image: NBC.