How 40 women exposed my partner's double life.

This is Part 2 of Sarah's story. You can read Part 1 here.

When COVID-19 forced Sarah and Phil back to Belfast, her world began to unravel in ways she never could've imagined. Stuck in lockdown, pregnant, and isolated in Phil's house, Sarah received a Facebook message that would change everything.

"Hi. I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but Phil has cheated on you," the message began. It was from a 22-year-old woman named Imogen: the same name Phil had suggested for their unborn daughter.

Sarah's first instinct was disbelief.

"I don't know how to describe how that makes sense, because I remember feeling sick to my stomach and feeling like I've been punched, but I didn't believe it," she told host Georgia Love on Mamamia's Everyone Has An Ex podcast.

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She showed Phil straight away, but he was unphased.

"He looked at me, cool as a cucumber. He said, 'I don't know, just block them'."

But something didn't sit right. Later that night, Sarah was unable to sleep.

"I just tossed and turned," she said. After asking for a friend's advice, the 35-year-old decided to ask Imogen for proof.

What came back was devastating: screenshots showing Phil's double life in explicit detail.

While Sarah was pregnant, and they were supposedly building a future together, Phil was having an affair with this young woman, sending her explicit messages and photos, even from Sarah's parents' house.

"The filth that Phil sent to her. I just couldn't believe what I was reading. It wasn't the guy that I was in a relationship with," Sarah said.

The timeline was particularly cruel. While Phil was in Australia with Sarah's family, supposedly angry about her "dishonesty" over a minor incident, he was texting Imogen, making plans and telling her he loved her.

On the day of Sarah's best friend's engagement party, which Phil refused to attend because he was so "hurt" by Sarah's behaviour, he was sending naked photos to the younger woman.

Sarah felt her world collapse.

"I felt like I didn't know him anymore. The cheating is obviously upsetting, but I think the most upsetting thing was that I felt like I didn't know him at all."

Despite everything, Sarah's love for Phil made leaving difficult. She was scared of being a single mother and still held onto hope that their relationship could be salvaged. But when she wrote out a parenting plan, she had a wake-up call.

"When I summarised our relationship… I went, 'what the f*** am I doing?'" she remembered. "It was just in black and white."

Sarah made the decision to return to Australia and have her daughter there. Phil flew out for the birth in August 2020, but even then, his behaviour was troubling. While he played the doting father in public, privately he showed little patience for the realities of caring for a newborn.

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"Phil didn't take any turns on that. He was actually getting frustrated every time I put her down when she cried," Sarah recalled of those early weeks.

The relationship limped on for over a year, with Phil making promises to move to Australia that he never kept. He cancelled a planned trip to see Emily at the last minute, leaving Sarah to celebrate their daughter's first birthday alone.

It was during this time that Sarah learned the full truth about Phil's past. His mother revealed that he had cheated throughout his marriage, leaving his ex-wife in debt and with a destroyed credit rating.

"I can't believe this is all happening again," his mother had said through tears.

The final straw came in December 2021. When Sarah asked Phil to look after Emily for a couple of nights so she could visit friends in Paris, he exploded. "You didn't come here to spend time with me. You came here because you wanted to party with your friends," he accused.

"I snapped," Sarah said. "I said, 'Yeah right, Phil, I've just spent six weeks in your sh**hole of a house in Belfast, just for two nights off. It's not babysitting, she is your child'."

That was the end. Sarah returned to Australia for good, blocked Phil on all platforms, and began rebuilding her life as a single mother.

But the story doesn't end there. Curious about the extent of Phil's deception, Sarah posted his photo on the Facebook group called "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" The response was overwhelming.

"I could never have been prepared for the stories that have come forward. It is unbelievable," Sarah said. "I've had at least forty women come forward with their own stories about him."

Phil had used multiple dating apps simultaneously, lied about his name and age, and left a trail of emotional destruction. One ex-girlfriend before Sarah had been so traumatised by his abuse that she ended up in a mental health institution.

"He tormented her so badly," Sarah said. "The way he spoke to her was scary and disgusting, and I was just in absolute shock seeing it all in black and white."

Today, Sarah has found peace. Emily is now almost four, and they have built a happy life together in Melbourne as she continues to heal.

"I now recognise that I'm just recovering from that narcissistic abuse. Even though I'm fine, I don't want to date and that's why," she explained.

Despite everything, Sarah has no regrets. "I couldn't change anything because then I wouldn't have Emily and she wouldn't be her," she said.

Sarah continues to help other women who reach out after encountering Phil, offering support and guidance to those trying to process their own experiences with him.

"Now, when I still hear from new women, which I do, I find myself telling them what they need to know, warning them... but also counselling them, kind of, because I'm so far down the road of healing where I'm okay, and it doesn't hurt me anymore."

This is Part 2 of Sarah's story. You can read Part 1 here.

Feature Image: Getty (Stock image is for illustrative purposes only).