Jennifer Saunders: 'The day Dawn French and I decided to get tattoos.'

Jennifer Saunders’ comic creations have brought joy to millions. From Comic Strip to Comic Relief, from Bolly-swilling Edina in Ab Fab to her takes on Madonna or Mamma Mia, her characters are household names. But it’s Jennifer herself who has a place in all our hearts. Here’s an extract from her funny, moving and frank memoir Bonkers .

Dawn and I are in a tattoo parlour. In Auckland. She is in another room and sounds in pain. It is 2009, the last leg of our final ‘Still Alive’ tour.

We’ve been driving past this tattoo parlour with its bright neon sign every night, en route to the theatre. I don’t know how it happened, but Dawn and I seem to have had the same idea at the same time. We had been trying to think of something to do to mark the end of the tour and, in effect, the end of the act. For some reason – which on occasion we now regret – we had decided that, as we were ‘getting on’ and it was unlikely that any TV company would ever be able to provide us with a budget for another full French and Saunders series, we should go out with dignity.

In the tattoo parlour, Dawn and I have had some thoughts. I thought that perhaps we should have a tattoo of a gravestone with ‘F&S RIP’ on it. We could have it on our bottoms. Dawn thinks maybe something a bit prettier. Something written, perhaps. We really can’t make up our minds, so the nice tattoo artist – who, it would appear, has practised mainly on himself – says he will work up some suggestions.

He is young, with no idea who we are. I don’t think he can really understand why these two old people have come in. He sets to work, his piercings jingling as he does so. He is back with a design. It is pretty. It is our names, multicoloured, in flowery writing. We both look at it, and then at each other.

me: What do you think, Dawn?
Dawn: What do you think, Jen?
We both know what we think.
me (to the boy): How long would that take to do?
Boy: A couple of hours.
Dawn: Mmm, it is lovely.
me: But do we have that time, Dawn?
Dawn: No, Jen, I’m afraid I don’t think we do.
me: No. Listen. I think we just want something a bit smaller, as we don’t have the time.
Dawn: But it is lovely, and if we had the time . . .

He brings us a hefty folder containing just about every design of smaller tattoos imaginable. We flick through it. They still seem quite big. Eventually, we turn a page and see a little star. A little dark star. We like the star. It is small.

me: And Dawn, it is in black ink and my friend who removes tattoos says that black ink is the easiest to remove, should we ever want to.

Watch Dawn French interviewing her bestie Jennifer Saunders below. Post continues after video.

We point to the star. We decide to have two stars each. We are going crazy now!

Dawn will have them on her wrist and I will have them on my ankle. We are separated and worked on by different tattooists. Dawn is squeaking a bit in pain. Turns out the wrist is an even more sensitive place to be tattooed than the ankle. Some minutes (and quite a lot of blood, it seems) later, we are done. We are pleased. We think we look quite cool. We have tattoos. Who’d have thunk it?

Our very last night in Auckland was the end of the act. It’s funny, but Dawn and I were actually less emotional than some other people were about it. You still have to go on and give your best.

As the show finished, we were bombarded with flowers and chocolate. It was kind and appreciative, and I know we are going to miss the thrill of that live work. And that feeling – that incredible feeling – when your audience are having fun. That they are enjoying you enjoying what you’re doing and – most crucially – enjoying each other. I honestly think that that is what audiences have been buying into all these years: they have been buying into our friendship. They love that we love each other. And they love that we have fun together.

The fact that we make each other feel good makes them feel good, which makes everybody happy.

This is an edited extract from Bonkers: My Life in Laughs by Jennifer Saunders, published by Penguin, RRP $22.99. Copyright © Jennifer Saunders 2013. www.penguin.co.uk  You can purchase the book here.

Like this? Why not try ...

Rob Lowe’s emotional farewell to his son is simply stunning.

Diane Keaton’s magnificent take on Hollywood.

Candice Bergen on what it was really like playing Murphy Brown.