'I was at the Bondi shooting with my 5-year-old. Her question the next day will haunt me forever.'

Content warning: This article contains graphic details of violence.

Just before 7pm on December 14, Jessica and her five-year-old daughter arrived at Bondi Beach for Jewish celebration, Chanukah by the Sea.

The duo beelined for the sufganiyot stand, which sold traditional Jewish donuts.

Jessica bought two; one for her daughter, Shemi, and one for her nine-year-old son, Lev, who was at home with his father, Nadav.

With the desserts safely tucked in her mother's hand, Shemi ran towards the petting zoo.

"She was just absolutely in pure delight with the bunny and the little chicks," Jessica Chapnik Kahn told Mamamia. 

As the five-year-old reached down to pat a baby goat, Jessica pulled out her phone to capture the sweet moment.

Just moments before the first gun shot, Shemi pat a baby goat. Image: Instagram/@jessicachapnikkahn

Then, not even five minutes after they had arrived, came a gun shot.

One by one, the heads next to Jessica jolted to the sky, expecting to see fireworks.

"I saw people looking up with huge smiles," said Jessica.

But she knew the sound belonged to something more sinister.

"I recognised instantly that it was a gunshot," she said. "There was just something about that sound, that hollowness."

Her fears were confirmed. Two gunmen had opened fire on the Jewish celebration, in what has now been declared as a terrorist attack.

15 innocent people have since lost their lives, including a 10-year-old girl.

Jessica and her daughter witnessed the tragedy first-hand.

When the first bullets started to fall, her mother's instinct told her to "head for the water" but she realised it was too far away.

Instead, she grabbed Shemi and ran with the crowd.

"We threw ourselves in that picnic area where we've picnicked so many times," Jessica recalled. 

She hoisted herself on top of Shemi, desperate to cover every inch of her baby girl.

"I had other children that were under my legs," she said. "We were all contained in a pile of bodies; children, babies, toddlers, and parents on top of them."

As the crowd lay in terror, the noise grew more intense. 

"The shots were so close together. They just kept going and going and going," said Jessica. "I was convinced they were walking towards us and were going to spray bullets into this pile of bodies."

Amid the ammunition, another sound pierced Jessica's ear. It came from beneath her, in her handbag.

"My phone was ringing. I knew it was my husband," she said. "The longing of that phone, the longing to not be here, to be home with my husband and my boy was so deep, but so far away."

The ringing continued, but Jessica stayed perfectly still.

"I did not dare move a muscle. I had to keep my limbs completely covered over my daughter. Every inch of her."

As she lay there, motionless, Jessica could feel a "mist of wetness" falling on her skin.

"It dawned on me, these are sprays of blood or sprays of people… that's what I'm feeling," she said.

Her phone stopped ringing. The bullets still rained. Jessica remained still, shielding Shemi. But something wasn't right.

"My daughter had literally not moved for probably 15 minutes," she said. "Children were crawling over us and screaming.

"I thought, 'Oh my god, something's really wrong.' I forgot to consider her breathing. It just completely escaped me."

Jessica's terror intensified.

"I shouted to her, Shemi, can you breathe!?'"

But there was no response. Jessica tried again.

"Nothing. She was just so still, so silent."

Then, a muffled "rumble."

Tributes have been shared at Bondi. Image: Getty

"I heard her make a tiny squeak," Jessica said. "A cry. I knew she was alive."

Not knowing how much time they had, the mother shared what she thought would be her final words to her daughter.

"I said, 'Shemi, listen to mama. Go into your heart. It's where the love is. Go there, my love.'"

Beneath her, Jessica felt Shemi's body react and "knew she had heard."

"There was something about the way her body relaxed; we just melded into each other, almost like a willing sacrifice."

Together, the mother and daughter lay for what felt like "an eternity." Then, around them, people started pulling themselves away from the pile.

"I don't know how people knew to stand up. I would never have stood up again," Jessica said.

Off to the side, she heard another parent tell their kid "don't open your eyes" and Jessica instructed Shemi to do the same.

"I just clearly said to her, 'Put your head here in the nook of my neck… we're going to go to safety. We don't need to focus on anything else but each other right now.'"

With Shemi's eyes buried in her neck, Jessica took in the scene around her.

"It was a blood bath," she said. "The man next to us had many holes in him and all sorts of things were happening. Things I can barely describe, and I'm not even sure are real."

Jessica and the crowd reached the NorthBondi Surf Life Saving Club. 

"There was a man at the front saying, 'Everybody in. There's another gunman on the loose.'"

Listen: A Sunday Evening At Bondi Beach. Post continues below.

Inside the building, Jessica's anxiety didn't lessen.

"It felt wrong to be inside a room where anyone could walk in and literally get rid of everyone in one foul swoop," she said.

As she paced up and down, Jessica struggled to get through to her husband. By the time he called her back, "her hands were shaking so much [she] could barely use the phone."

"Where are you? We're looking for you," her husband, Nadav, said.

Along with their son, Lev, he had arrived to the beach to look for Jessica and Shemi.

"I said, 'We're here at the life-saving club. Please come get us. Come and take us away,'" Jessica recalled.

The four reunited and were picked up by Jessica's mother-in-law.

Sleep did not come easily that night.

"It was hard to be in Bondi. It was hard to hear the helicopters," Jessica said. "The sounds of the guns were still ricocheting in our bodies, in our minds."

When the family awoke the following morning, little Shemi asked her mum a question she'll never forget.

"She said to me, 'Mum, are we going to get a fever now?' And I said, 'A fever? What do you mean?' And she said, 'Because that man was screaming, 'The coughs are coming soon. The coughs are coming soon.'"

To learn that her five-year-old had misheard the word "cop" was "heartbreaking" for Jessica.

"Such a big prayer of mine now, in this time, is that the innocence of all children is restored," she said.

In the immediate wake of the attack, the mother-of-two couldn't see herself remaining in Bondi. But, that morning, "it was like a magnet" was pulling her to the beach.

"Everyone left something; their phones, their bags, their prams," she said. "I had left my shoes."

Jessica didn't care about the shoes, but rather, taking in the beach with fresh eyes.

"I needed the shapes. I needed to understand all the lines," she said. "Most of it was blocked off. It was so silent."

At the time, there were only about two bouquets at the scene. She sat beside them, and let her "first tears come."

"I had so many tears trapped in my body and I just was able to cry."

Going forward, Jessica encourages everyone to "check in on your Jewish friends and broader community," and to harness any anger into something positive.

"It's really easy to go to many other places," she said. "I'm not saying don't be angry and devastated. But we need to keep asking ourselves, 'what does our heart ask us to do with this anger?'

"We've seen now what misguided anger does. It's devastating."

How to help following the Bondi Beach shooting.

In the aftermath of the Bondi Beach shooting, many people are searching for meaningful ways to help during the incredibly distressing time. If you're able:

You can support victims and their families by donating to verified GoFundMe fundraisers established in response to the attack here.

By giving blood at your nearest Australian Red Cross Lifeblood centre, to help those receiving medical care. Find your nearest donation centre here.

You can also pay your respects and share messages of support via the NSW Government's Online Condolence Book, which offers comfort and solidarity to those affected. You can sign the book here.

Feature Image: Instagram/@jessicachapnikkahn