What mums really want this Mother's Day.

An open letter to children and other halves everywhere as we approach Mother’s Day. (I speak on behalf of all mums of course, self-appointing).

My Lovelies,

We adore receiving your Mother’s Day craft and gifts. Your drawings (sometimes just a single crayon’s diagonal line running off the page and usually onto the couch, or a card with an affectionate black pipe-cleaner stuck on the front, or for teenagers – a card reading To Mum, From Jake) will always occupy pride of place on the fridge. But this year, I would like to request something in addition to your obviously thought-filled masterpieces…

Some background: Mummy is tired. Mummy wants peace. Mummy wants things that will solve real-life problems to make her life easier. Mummy wants to have a Sunday where she doesn’t have to wear yesterday’s bra turned inside out because she’s run out of time to do the washing because she spent the whole morning trying to unclog the toilet of your football socks, because you thought by flushing them, you wouldn’t have to go to training on Monday morning.  So, here is what mummy would like for this Mother’s Day. It doesn’t involve flowers or gifts. It’s all very simple, I promise…

Please let mummy sleep in.

This means: I would like to wake up and not have to turn the lights on to see.

This does not mean: Waiting outside mummy’s door whispering, “I saw her foot move – she’s awake!” Nor does it mean peeling back my eyelids to see if I’m ‘still sleeping’.

Please bring mummy breakfast in bed.

This means: Going to our really clever Westinghouse FlexSpace^TM fridge, getting milk, putting it in cereal, putting some ice-cubes in some orange juice and bringing them both to me. Followed by lots of lazy Sunday morning cuddles and kisses.

This does not mean: “Cooking” anything, especially involving flour, hundreds and thousands, play dough or a “secret ingredient” of chewing gum.

"This does not mean: “Cooking” anything, especially involving flour." Image via iStock.

Please put the breakfast dishes straight into the dishwasher.

This means: Putting my bowl into the dishwasher (yes, that’s what that box in the kitchen is).

This does not mean: Putting the bowl in the sink because the dishwasher needs to be emptied, nor does it mean wiping Vegemite over all of the clean dishes in the dishwasher, because you don’t want to have to unpack it. I know all the tricks; I was a child once too.

Play happily together for the whole day.

This means: Holding hands, skipping, exploring things in the garden, wearing Sound of Music curtain garb.

This does not mean: Okay, I will just settle for no pinching, no biting, no screaming and no permanent marker decorations, anywhere. I do not care if you both agreed to a “cool facial tattoo”.

"No biting, no screaming and no permanent marker decorations, anywhere." Image via iStock.

Eat dinner without fussing.

This means: Eating whatever Daddy prepares on the Westinghouse induction cooktop for lunch, and dinner.

This does not mean: Claiming you can see weevils in the cauliflower, deciding you are a vegetarian “effective immediately”, or getting your pillow to affirm your position when we say, “You’re not leaving until you finish what’s on your plate.” We will win.

Snuggle into me as we watch a movie together as a family.

This means: Microwaving some popcorn in our freestanding Westinghouse microwave, donning onesies, and all piling on to and cuddling on a queen size mattress in front of the TV.

This does not mean: Sitting on phones under the doona, ‘faceswapping’ bums on to unsuspecting faces, dutch ovens, complaining that the movie is too ANYTHING, complaining that we should have “chosen the Zac Efron one instead” through the entire 93 minutes, or breathe on me asking me to work out which flavoured chip you have in your mouth.

Mummy also wouldn’t mind a luxury getaway to Sydney with a friend to have lunch with the incredible Julia Morris. Westinghouse, with over sixty years of experience designing appliances for Australian kitchens, is celebrating really clever mums this Mother’s Day with some excellent prizes. If you’re one of those mums (let’s be honest aren’t we all) you can enter here.

Thanks kids.

What are you hoping for this Mother's Day?