'My best friend warned me my partner was cheating. What I uncovered was so much worse.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

I met Max* through my friend Sally*, who invited me to see a friend's band play at a local pub.

She and I had been friends since uni, and we were still close, catching up a few times a month. And through Sally, I met Bianca, so the three of us were tight for quite a while. We had a fun night planned, and had drinks at my place before heading out.

"The lead guitarist's an old work friend of mine. You'll like him," Sally said.

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That was Max. He wasn't full of himself like a lot of the guys I'd dated before. He was lovely and friendly, and very passionate about music. Like many musicians, he didn't have a full-time job and still shared a flat with two mates.

I really liked him, pretty much immediately. After that night, we started talking. Then we were dating. And before I knew it, I was falling for him.

At first, Sally and Bianca seemed happy for me. We were a pretty close trio. But things went rather pear shaped not long after I told them I was starting to fall in love with Max.

They didn't say anything directly to me, but there were lots of mean comments. Little things that slowly added up, like little digs at him. Such as, "Do you really see a future with someone like him?" or "He's sweet, but musicians are always broke." And Sally loved to say. "You could do so much better."

At first, I just laughed it off. I figured they just didn't know him the way I did. But then they started telling me things they'd heard. Bianca said someone she knew had seen Max cuddling and kissing a woman outside a gig. Sally said she'd also heard that he had a "girl on the side" and made light of it, like he was a famous rock star and that's just what they do. Which, of course, was ridiculous and Max wasn't famous.

They said they were worried about me. The more they planted these little doubts, the more I started pulling away from Max without even realising it. I questioned his texts and overthought everything he said. So, if he said he was running late, in my head I was worrying that he was with the so-called "other girl."

Then Sally showed me a photo on a woman's social media page with Max. They were in a bar, and he had his arm around her. It wasn't intimate, but she insisted they were "absolutely" a couple. I sent the photo to Max and asked him who the woman was. He called me right away and said she was an old workmate and that she was gay. He said there was nothing for me to worry about.

But when I told my friends, they both said they didn't believe that excuse. Bianca said it was "the oldest trick in the book" to pretend a female lover is gay. I really didn't know what to think anymore and decided to end the relationship.

Not so much about the photo, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and that my friends had my back. Max was upset but didn't beg me to stay with him. He said clearly I don't trust him, and he has done nothing wrong, so it's probably a good idea to break up. I told myself I had done the right thing. My friends knew me best, and they were just trying to protect me. But a few weeks later I found out the truth.

A mutual friend told me that Max had told the truth, that the woman in the photo was Max's colleague, a gay woman he'd worked with for years.

And then, another friend told me something else; that Sally had always had a crush on Max.

Back at uni, she'd been obsessed with him, but he only ever saw her as a friend. She'd introduced us, sure, but not because she wanted us together, because she didn't think he'd actually fall for me.

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When he did, it must have really upset her. So then everything made sense. The way she acted weird when I first told her about Max. The way she and Bianca had fed me rumours and little digs. I realised it had nothing to do with protection; it was jealousy.

I don't speak to either of them now. But I still think about Max sometimes. I even thought about reaching out, explaining everything, but he's moved on with someone else. I see the photos sometimes, friends of friends tagging them in posts. I'm glad he looks happy, and I don't regret falling for him. But I do regret not trusting myself, and trusting the wrong people instead. It's not easy to admit you were manipulated by people you called your close friends.

But that's exactly what happened. They gaslighted me until I didn't know what was true anymore.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Feature Image: Getty (Stock image used for illustrative purposes).