As told to Ann DeGrey.
I met Rachel* in Bali when we were in our early twenties, and we knew we'd be friends for life. We were both travelling solo and ended up at the same resort.
Within a day, we were hanging out at the beach together and staying up until all hours drinking cocktails. It was just an easy, natural friendship.
When she later moved to Melbourne for work, we became part of each other's everyday lives, even living within five minutes of each other.
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We became even closer after we'd both gone through rough breakups. Mine had been long and drawn out, while Rachel's split was sudden and very messy.
We were both tired and burnt out, so when she suggested a girls' holiday, it felt like exactly what we needed. We chose somewhere warm and relaxing; just the two of us.
We chose Fiji.
The plan was simple and seemed fantastic to me: seven nights, a beautiful beachside resort and absolutely no schedules. We talked about long lunches, sleeping in, drinking as much as we could handle and swimming every day.
I imagined it would be like those early days of our friendship in Bali, which were very carefree and innocent compared to our lives ten years later.
The first two days were perfect. We did everything we'd talked about and I felt like a teenager on school holidays. Rachel seemed happier than I'd seen her in months.
Then everything changed when she happened to meet a good-looking British guy. She'd been chatting to Bryan* at the bar on our third night, and he bought her a drink.
She came to me and said, "I've just met this amazing guy. I'll probably end up spending the night with him, so don't worry about me."
Then they disappeared for a walk, and I didn't see her again until the next morning. She had breakfast with me and said she had a great night and thought he could be "the one." I wasn't bothered at first.
We were on holiday, so a little fling didn't seem out of the question. I told her I was glad she was having fun and asked her if she'd be joining me by the pool and then for dinner later, and she told me she'd get back to me.
But that was the last full conversation we had. From that moment, she was barely around.
She spent all day with Bryan, eating with him and even going on day trips with him. She stopped replying to my texts and would only pop into the room briefly to shower or grab a change of clothes.
I asked if she wanted to do something for just the two of us, and she just said, "Oh, maybe later," and then left.
By day five, I gave up trying. I went snorkelling on my own. I sat at dinner tables for one. I made awkward small talk with other travellers. It was pretty lonely and uncomfortable, and nothing like the trip we'd planned. I felt like an afterthought on a holiday I helped pay for.
One night, I saw her walk past me at the bar, holding hands with Bryan, and she didn't even stop to say hello. She just gave me a small wave and kept walking.
I kept telling myself maybe she just got caught up in it. Maybe she'd come back around. But when I woke up on the last day, and she still hadn't come back to the room, I felt completely abandoned.
I checked us out, got to the airport alone, assuming she'd at least show up in time for the flight.
Instead, she texted me to say she was extending her trip by a couple more days, and she'd see me back in Melbourne.
I waited a week before messaging her. I told her I felt hurt and a bit used. That the trip had been sold as a getaway for the two of us, and she'd basically left me to holiday alone.
She replied with: "Sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal. You're independent, you can handle yourself."
That was it. That was when I decided to drop our friendship. I didn't want to stay friends with a woman who clearly didn't give a sh** about me.
I know things don't always go as planned, and I'm not against people finding unexpected joy.
But when someone invites you into a shared experience and then disappears without a proper explanation, it really says something.
Maybe we'd already grown apart more than I realised. Maybe that trip showed me that the closeness we once had just isn't there anymore. I still see her from time to time, but we definitely aren't close anymore.
As for Bryan, once he got back to England, he ghosted her, so she lost him, as well as her closest friend on that trip, so I felt like justice was served in a strange way.
*Names have been changed for privacy.
The author of this story is known to Mamamia but remained anonymous for privacy purposes.
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