The sacred rules of selecting the perfect 'dinner show'.

This week was the worst week of my life.

Do you know why? I did not have a dinner show to watch.

I know what you're thinking: 1) You have an easy life, huh. And 2) What on earth is a dinner show?

If you're not living in a Norman Rockwell painting or a Lifetime movie, then it's more than likely that you eat dinner on the couch while watching TV. You know, like a normal person.

Therefore, you need to select the perfect TV show to complement the dinner-eating experience. Not having the right show means you simply cannot eat until you line up the perfect program — them's the rules.

But this week *DUN DUN* I ran out of shows to watch and with no daily reality show on my roster, my dinner time has been empty as I scramble to find something (anything?) to fill my sacred meal time.

A travesty. A life without sunshine. A bleak existence.

So what makes a perfect dinner show? Well, as I've had a lot of extra time on my hands, I've written a very important guide.

The shorter, the better.

The ultimate goal is to find a perfect 25-minute show.

Hacks, 30 Rock, The Office, or Community are an ideal length, but I'm not a total rule narc — on the longer end, it can be a Bridgerton or a reality show like Farmer Wants A Wife, Love Island UK or Summer House.

@rachyhstudio

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You can do a 45-to-50-minute program at a push, but no one is putting on a two-hour movie or a one-hour episode to eat dinner.

That is strictly AFTER DINNER programming, which is a different story entirely.

It has to be low-stakes, easy viewing and comforting.

Dinner time is not a time to be stressed. It is a time to enjoy dinner.

You've slogged your way through the day, answered at least one EMAIL, been forced to endure small talk about the rain (??) in the work kitchen, and now this is your reward.

Dinner shows should complement that feeling. Keep it light, low-stakes and easy with shows like Younger, New Girl, Friends, Insecure, Ted Lasso or Parks and Recreation.

Watch the trailer for the final season of Younger. Post continues after video.

More stressful shows have their place, but that place is not at dinner time.

There can't be any 'yucky' stuff.

As much as I love a medical drama like Grey's Anatomy or a spooky show like The X-Files, these are not dinner shows.

For instance, Game of Thrones is a series made to be binged, but you never know what's around the corner. Who wants to be halfway through a burrito bowl when someone on screen gets decapitated? No thank you!

Don't you dare watch me at dinner time! Image: HBO.

I will ride for Buffy the Vampire Slayer until the day I die. However, I can admit it's not the right vibe for a dinner show with all the blood and guts it inevitably brings.

Let's keep it cute for dinner, folks.

Embrace the nostalgia.

Dinner time is already a nostalgic tradition, whether you have teenage memories of inviting friends over for Taco Tuesday, or getting the extended family together for a Sunday roast.

So why not lean into that nostalgia?

Sabrina the Teenage Witch, That '70s Show, The Nanny, The Simpsons or Daria were all the kinds of shows airing around the dinner slot in the '90s and '00s and would all work wonderfully as nostalgic dinner shows.

Did dinner even happen if you didn't hear this fabulous woman screeching out 'MR SHEFFIELD'? Image: CBS.

For a bit more spice, I'd also recommend Kath & Kim, Mad Men, Desperate Housewives or Ally McBeal.

There needs to be LOTS of episodes.

A six-episode limited series? Get out of here! A dinner show needs to be a long-running series, or at least, a reality show airing for over a month.

My hot tip is literally any Real Housewives franchise or any drama series that was released in the '00s, which typically had upwards of 16 to 20 episodes for every single season.

@sambellikoff

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♬ original sound - Sam Bellikoff |The Most Iconic

Look no further than The O.C., Gossip Girl, Dawson's Creek or One Tree Hill.

You'll have your dinner show sorted for months! You're welcome.

But you can learn and engage while you eat.

Okay, I will allow game programs as dinner shows.

They're not my personal preference, but there is something nostalgic about popping on a quiz program hosted by some random British man and playing along like you're not about to get all the answers wrong.

This includes any type of competitive reality show like MasterChef or The Great British Bake Off which all work especially well because…

Bonus points if the characters eat dinner in it.

I can't exactly explain why, but there's a delightful synergy in eating dinner alongside some of your favourite characters or people also indulging in a meal.

This is why any of the Below Deck spin-offs pair perfectly with dinner time: every episode generally leads up to a big, fancy meal.

Nothing gets my appetite going like watching Chef Ben have a(nother) breakdown. Image: Bravo.

Then there are the reality shows literally SET INSIDE restaurants, like Vanderpump Rules and Southern Hospitality. Chef's kiss!

Of course, any family dinners shown in Bump, Modern Family or Schitt's Creek are a great match, as are shows with a communal dinner hub like Luke's Diner in Gilmore Girls or MacLaren's Pub in How I Met Your Mother.

Chowing into a burger just as Lorelai has a burger delivered to her table by Luke? What a thrill!

So there you have it! Next time you're desperate for a dinner show, look no further. Bone apple tea!

Image: Getty/Fox.