Always trawling for compliments? It could actually benefit you.

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Whether it’s a compliment on your new lipstick or a killer report done at work, having nice things said about you conjures up a lovely warm and fuzzy feeling. But while we often feel like we deserve that recognition, it’s always been considered bad manners to try and actually dig for compliments. Until now.

A new study by Harvard Business School found that seeking compliments and recognition can actually increase our chances of future success. This is because reminding ourselves of a previous time where we’ve performed well works as the best motivation to try to match, and even exceed, those performance levels in future.

The researchers tested this theory of “best-self activation”  with three different experimental studies looking at how it affected our emotions, physiology and employment relationships in both work and day-to-day situations.

For the first study, the team conducted mock job interviews with 123 volunteers and found that those who had received positive notes from friends just before the interview performed better compared to those who had been given neutral notes or asked to highlight their own career highs.

The influence of encouragement was also evident in the second study which had 75 individuals asked to solve puzzles, while a third study also supported the theory, finding that when bosses frequently reminded staff of their 'best selves', the chances of staff quitting or burning out became less likely.

In a working paper of the study published on the Social Science Research Network, the researchers noted the many benefits of compliments to improve performance, rather than focusing on people's weaknesses:

"Results confirmed that best-self activation inspired improvements in people's emotions, resistance to disease, resilience to stress and burnout, creative problem solving performance under pressure, and relationships with their employer."
While it's nice to receive uninitiated compliments, researchers also stressed that "fishing" for compliments shouldn't always be seen as a bad thing. (Post continues after gallery.)

"Results also revealed that best-self activations are more effective in creating improvements when they feature information from one’s social network rather than personal reflections," they wrote.

The biggest problem with this? As a society we're not generally inclined to always praise people when they deserve it. Tall Poppy Syndrome, anyone?

"Most societies and organisations have not created vehicles for reminding people who they are when they are at their best, even though theory suggests that this information can inspire them to achieve more of their potential," the researchers concluded.

"These results suggest that there is considerable lost potential in keeping silent about how others affect us when they are at their best."

So next time a friend, family member or colleague does something to impress? Tell them. Repeatedly. We bet they'll soon start doing the same to you. Throw compliments out like Oprah does gifts and the world might be a much happier and successful place.

What's the ultimate compliment for you?