'I was 17 weeks pregnant with triplets. Then my husband went for a run and never came home.'

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"It's one of those stories that you hear about and think 'gosh, that's sad.' I still can't believe it's my story."

Five years ago, Ashleigh Conwell was 29, pregnant, and deeply in love. It was the kind of love they write about in books and belt out in love songs. The kind that everyone hopes to have one day.

But then, in one instant, her fairytale was shattered.

"Everyone has a story from 2020. You hear that year, and you just go, ugh," Ashleigh said.

For Ashleigh, that 'ugh' is a cavern of grief and loss representing one of the hardest years of her life and the beginning of many more hardships to come.

Watch: Redefining the image of being a widow. Post continues after video.

In January 2020, she lost her father-in-law to a short, aggressive cancer. In March, she was stood down from her job .

But in June, a dazzling bright spot came in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

"We were delighted. We'd been trying for a little while, we had been married for a few years, the timing felt right," Ashleigh said.

"It was honestly such a joyful moment, particularly in a time when there was so much heaviness in the world."

Then came the ultrasound. Not one baby, but three.

"It was pure shock. We looked at each other like, 'what just happened?' You only ever mentally prepare for one baby," she said. "It was a jarring feeling of 'this changes everything'."

The practical, financial, and logistical overload was immediate, but so was the excitement.

"We felt so lucky. We now get to welcome three babies. What a blessing," Ashleigh said. "It really felt like this was meant to be. This was our story."

Ashleigh Conwell pictured. Image: Supplied

In August, Ashleigh and her husband Matt celebrated their wedding anniversary. She didn't know it would be their last.

"One day, Matt went out for his usual morning run, and he didn't come home," she recalled.

"He was hit by a car and, in an instant, my life completely changed.

"Overnight, I became a widow. It's a title you never expect. Especially not at 29 years of age and especially not 17 weeks pregnant with triplets."

She was instantly thrust into a new reality, one of complete devastation, grief, and a mountain of death admin.

"Those first few weeks are so hard, but you're really held by the funeral director who guides you through everything, and friends and family who show up for you," she said.

But then, the world went quiet.

The deafening silence.

"After the funeral, everyone goes back to their lives, their jobs, their families. And I was left. Alone," Ashleigh recalled.

"Busy doing death admin, thinking, 'how am I going to do all of this by myself?'"

The silence was deafening. It's in that quiet that the real work of grief begins, and for Ashleigh, it was compounded by an unimaginable mental load.

The brutal truth about loss became clear: the flurry of support is genuine, but it is often fleeting.

You are left with the paperwork, the phone calls, the reliving of your trauma with every single official you have to notify. And you are left to do it all while your whole world is in fragments and, in Ashleigh's case, while pregnant.

Her triplets were born in January the following year. 12 days later, her grandfather passed away suddenly.

"In 12 months I lost three incredible men in my life, and welcomed three beautiful babies," she said.

Becoming a mother.

Ashleigh's journey into motherhood was far from smooth sailing.

"Becoming a mother is hard enough. But becoming a mother to three newborns in the NICU, while navigating immeasurable grief, is a specific kind of terror," she said. "Everything I went through at that time was hard in isolation, but doing it all together was… a lot."

Her hormones were crashing, her grief was a tidal wave, and she was diagnosed with severe postnatal depression.

"Most days I couldn't determine what was PPD, what was grief and what was hormones," she said.

During her darkest moments, Ashleigh kept hearing the same classic motherhood advice: trust your gut.

"As a first-time mum, you're told to trust your instincts. But I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't know what to feel," she recalled.

Ashleigh navigates being a first-time mum and a widow. Image: Supplied.

While people around her tried to help, many often did more harm than good.

Her experience highlighted a painful truth: as a society, we don't know how to handle this level of grief. We don't know what to say, or how to support people through the profound mental load of death.

A few years later, Ashleigh felt a powerful urge to give back, to create the resource she so desperately needed during her darkest days. It was from this place of isolated overwhelm that her business, Yellow Falcon, was born.

The name is deeply symbolic. Yellow is a colour Ashleigh saw vividly after Matt died.

"It was blinding. I would go out and only see yellow," she explained.

She later learned yellow represents the solar plexus chakra, which is tied to self-belief and confidence.

"I truly believe Matt was reminding me, 'you will be okay,'" Ashleigh said.

Falcon is also a combination of her married and maiden name, representing her past, present, and future.

"It symbolises not being defined by tragedy," she said. "Falcons are powerful but peaceful. You can rise above the storm."

Through Yellow Falcon, Ashleigh offers The Confident Widow online course and checklist designed to guide widows through the unbearable mental load of loss. It's the support Ashleigh wishes she had.

"It's tasks that might seem really simple, but at the time they're not," she said.

"It includes everything from templates for phone calls to banks, scripts for telling a child's school, and text messages to send when you need to ask for help. I made these phone calls, I know what you need to say. I can share this because I've done it."

Five years on, Ashleigh's life is unrecognisable.

Her triplets are cheeky, caring kids with three distinct personalities.

"The most important thing to me is that they know they are loved by daddy," she said.

While Ashleigh finds her feet as a solo mum with a purpose, her grief doesn't disappear.

"The other day I was looking at a photo from my last wedding anniversary with Matt, and I was stopped in my tracks. I don't recognise that girl. I'm very different. I've been through a lot. I've had to mature a lot. I've had conversations I should never have had to have," she said.

"I will never be that person again.I'm creating new joy, but I will never be the same."

Her mission now is to ensure no other woman has to navigate the darkest days of widowhood without a map.

Read more of our stories about becoming a widow:

• 'I had a strange urge to photograph my husband at the train station. Days later, I understood why.'

• 'My husband thought he was putting on weight. The truth would upend our lives.'

• 'I've been widowed twice and lost my 16-month-old child. Here's how I survived.'

Feature image: Supplied.