I cried for days after the class parent made the off-the-cuff remark that she thought I was Baxter’s grandma – heck I was only 49. I hadn’t planned on that when I concocted the plan to wait until the last moment to have a baby. It got worse when Clementina, the “it” girl, made the comment, “Harry’s mum’s really old,” as I helped out with kindergarten. I decided there and then to stop volunteering at school.
On reflection, I guess I didn’t think I looked old. The reality is my looks had just not survived three years of relentless night feeds and two years of crippling peri-menopausal endometrial hyperplasia.
So, as I sit here at 52 with a nine-year-old son, here are my reflections on “older parenting”.
Listen: Holly, Mia and Jessie discuss babies in your 40s.
It is immensely satisfying to have been able to have it all – a career without the ever present juggling act of guilt (the constant battle for family/work balance), and time instead to forge a platinum bond with hubby all before screaming in with a “spontaneous conception” at 43. In fact, the benefits of quadragenarian mothering abound. A slightly different shade of parent perhaps than the 20 or 30 year old version of self. A well-rounded being shaped from decades of life’s lessons. It is indeed a wise warrior that emerges, well prepared for the parenting battle that lies ahead. Arguably a better parent – an earth mother who resides in the lofty heights of parenting nirvana far beyond the reaches of the rat race and its related materialism.