Confession: The reason I'm watching Barracuda has nothing to do with the storyline.

Warning: there are absolutely no spoilers in this post apart from the fact that there are a bunch of v hot actors in this show that are semi-naked a lot of the time.

TBH I couldn’t even really tell you much of what happens in the ABC show Barracuda beyond seven minutes anyway, because that’s around the time the shirts come off.

I know, I know. ‘It’s literary gold’, they cried.’ It’s an Australian masterpiece’. Indeed. Christos Tsolkas is a genius and you should all buy and read the book and discuss the themes intelligently at book club.

After you’ve towelled yourself down from watching the TV show, that is.

Because if perving on teenage fictional characters is a crime then Lock. Me. Up. Because I am guilty.

Laura Brodnik, co-host of The Binge, has some more high-brow thoughts about the show. You can listen to them below. (Post continues after audio.)

So anyway – back to the seven minute mark, where the main hottie gets in the pool.

And then it all kind of goes blurry. I remember wanting to push Rachel Griffiths’ character off a balcony, and then they eat pizza, and then more shirts come off.

And the more shirts that come off, the more I can’t exactly tell you what happened.

Because I was glued to my computer fervently googling the actors in the show to see their actual ages. I haven’t done that since high school.

But in my defence >>>>

I know, right? STOP ITTTTTTTT. But don't really. Image: ABC

So for the record, as far as I can tell, Elias Anton, who plays Danny Kelly, is 18. According to his management, Ben Kindon, who plays Martin Taylor, graduated from WACPA in 2015, which is a three year acting course, so assuming he entered the course when he was 18, he is now probably around 21-22.

Next up is Andrew Creer, who plays Wilco is, and according to this article, he is 21. And finally, Rhys Mitchell who plays Scooter, well his management says he can play a character between 18-28.

Don't say I didn't go to journalism school.

Anyway, here is a photo montage of my reactions during episode one, as represented by the half naked men in the show.

Images: ABC

I know I am missing the thematic importance of the acclaimed Australian drama. But in my defence. LOOK. LOOK AT THIS LITERARY GOLD>>>>

Image: ABC

Egh.

You can listen to the full episode of The Binge below, and for more episodes, subscribe in iTunes, or download the show via the Mamamia Podcast App.