"Dear Driver, I can totally drive this car better than you from the passenger seat."

Dear Driver,

Please don’t get mad at me because I can totally drive this car better than you from the passenger seat.

I’m sorry that for every second you have your hands on the steering wheel, I have my hands nervously clinging to either my door or the dashboard or my seatbelt.

I’m sorry that while you drive, I look out on to the road ahead with absolute concentration, because I’m sure I’m going to see something that you will definitely miss.

I’m sorry that every time a car brakes ahead of us, I yell the word “BRAKE!” in an absolute panic. For some reason I’m just convinced that if I don’t tell you a car is slowing down, you will continue to drive until you hit the back of them.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by
Nissan X-TRAIL. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.

The same goes for traffic lights. I’m sorry that I scream “RED! RED! RED!” like a banshee whenever the light has just turned from green to orange – I just want to make sure you see it and you have enough time to stop. And I’m really sorry that whenever we’re sitting at a red light and it changes, I always feel like I have to smugly say “Green”, like you’ll just continue to sit in the middle of the road all day if I wasn’t there to remind you to accelerate.

I’m sorry that I audibly flinch every time you do anything. Turn; I flinch. Brake; I flinch. Slow down; I flinch. Speed up; I flinch. Turn up the radio; I flinch. I’m just not convinced that you can do anything other than drive in a straight line without doing something very wrong.

I’m sorry that every time we get to an intersection, I insist that I’m the only person in the car who knows when you should turn or not turn. I’m sorry that when I feel the car start to inch forward, I start repeating “Not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet” like our lives depend on it, even though the closest oncoming car is barely a dot on the horizon. And I’m sorry that when you don’t turn fast enough, I scream at you “NOW, NOW TURN, NOW”, even if the gap in cars is one not even Batman could make it through.

I’m sorry that when I give you directions, I expect you to read my mind. It’s just that it seems really obvious to me that when I say ‘left’ it actually means ‘right’. I also don’t understand how when I say “that way” without pointing any particular way, you don’t know which way I want you to turn. I’m also sorry that I always tell you that “you should have turned back there” about 30 metres after you should have turned.

I’m sorry that I sigh really loudly and passive aggressively say things like “Oh. You’re going this way?” It’s just that I’m pretty sure I know the best way to drive anywhere on the entire planet and it’s hard for me to sit back while you take us the most ridiculous route possible.

I’m sorry that I feel it would be best if I take control of all of the car’s facilities while you’re driving. But to me it just makes sense that I’m your guest, and should therefore get to choose the music/air temperature/sunroof opening.

I’m sorry that I obviously infuriate you most of the time. I know that while you’re sitting there, generously getting us where we need to go, it must be so frustrating having someone next to you who thinks they would have been doing a better job. It’s just that I know I would have been.

But most of all, above all else, I’m sorry that every time I see another car pull into a car park that you could not have possibly reached before them, I look out my window, sigh, and say quietly:

“You missed one.”

I’m so, so sorry.

Sincerely,

Alish x

Do you ever have problems with backseat drivers?

All-new Nissan X-TRAIL – Family Proof

The all-new Nissan X-TRAIL not only looks sleek and stylish – it’s designed to make every day driving a joy rather than driving you crazy.

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