Back to school: A psychologist's tips to ease the journey

By Nathalie Fernbach

The school gate farewell can be as emotional for parents and carers as it is children, while some families sail through the transition to school with all parties excited and enthusiastic.

Others have reluctance, anxiety, or floods of tears as the start of school approaches.

Psychologist Dr Joann Lukins said many of our emotions around the return to school stem from our fear of change.

“Change is something that humans typically react to … we don’t always love change when it comes along,” Dr Lukins said.

The James Cook University associate professor said it is not just the parents of prep students who struggle with firsts, the commencement of high school or the beginning of the final year of school can also be significant and stir up similar emotions.

“We often see, around some of those pivotal points, reactions from parents to what their children are going through because it signifies a new phase of family life,” she said.

Routine the key for young children

For the little kids in prep and grade one, easing in to school routines early can help the transition to school life.

Dr Lukins advises moving away from ‘holiday bedtimes’ and sleep-ins several days ahead.

“It is a bit of a rude shock come Monday if that is when we start to change those habits,” she said.

Talking about and even practising the school-day routine of putting on a uniform, getting ready, and getting in the car can help too.

“Particularly if they are little ones. I think practising things like making sure they can open their lunchboxes … so it feels more familiar for them on the first day,” Dr Lukins said.

“Lots of little ones are generally excited about starting school, but don’t be surprised if your very excited child suddenly becomes more apprehensive as the day approaches.”

Encourage independence in older children

Dr Lukins said older primary and secondary children should be encouraged to be more self-reliant when it comes to their school preparation.

“Obviously as children get older they can take on more responsibility, perhaps they will pack their own lunchboxes, or do part of the lunchboxes, and do that the night before,” Dr Lukins said.

“I certainly know in my household the school bags are going to be packed before Sunday night.”

Even for families who do not usually have a strict schedule, creating some structure for the first few weeks can help ease anxiety.

A few pre-prepared meals in the freezer and open discussion as a household can help the family negotiate those first few weeks back.

“It can be a bit of a rude shock heading back into school after several weeks away from it,” Dr Lukins said.

“Everyone is going to have to find their feet, everyone is going to have to pitch in, so some of those conversations can be useful as a household to manage that time.”

Picking yourself up after the drop-off

Even if your child has sailed through the gate smoothly, you might be left feeling flat or worried after the school drop-off.

Dr Lukins said having a treat or a time out for yourself, planned for the first day, can be a useful strategy to take your mind off your worries.

“So perhaps you are going to work, and maybe you have got flexibility in your work, that you can give yourself half-an-hour to pop out and get a coffee on the way to collect your thoughts,” she said.

Dr Lukins believes that children are very perceptive and can pick up on parents’ emotions, and will often reflect them.

She recommends parents try to monitor their thoughts and feelings so they can identify and deal with them.

“Anxiety you have, as a parent, may rub off on to your child. So being aware of that,” Dr Lukins said.

“We need to be mindful and portray positivity, but we also need to be honest. It is okay to say to your child ‘I think you’re going to have a great year this year, I’m excited for you, and I am going to miss you as well’.”

This post originally appeared on ABC News.