I feel a lot of feelings when I watch The Bachelor. Admittedly mostly a lot of feelings about Matty J’s abs.
But last night, I felt a lot of feelings for piglets. Uncomfortable feelings for baby pigs, wrapped in colourful ribbons.
So let’s rewind: On the group date, our chosen bachelorettes are whisked away into a medieval-style setup. Four of them are then invited to play a fun game, cleverly named ‘Piglet Catching’, to win time with Matty J. The goal is to catch two piglets from their pen and pop them into a box. (Matty J kindly demonstrates how to do this.) Fun, fun, fun.
So of course, the ladies silenced their competitive streaks. Instead, they courteously trotted up to each piglet, fed them a treat and politely asked if they may, please, please, please, carry them to win Matty J’s affections…
Ha ha ha. Au contraire.
As soon as the game kicked off, there was complete and utter mayhem.
We see piglets scatter in every direction, squealing at the top of their little lungs (and I while I don’t speak oink, I swear I could just about make out ‘WHAT THE FRICK’ and ‘SAVE OUR SOULS’). There are women chasing, leaping, and dropping to their hands and knees. And finally, the piglets are swung up skywards before being plopped into a box.