Say hello to the baby names that will take the world by storm in 2017.

It’s been less than a week since the most popular baby names of 2016 were announced, and already the “name experts” (that’s a real job, apparently) have placed their bets on what will top the charts next year.

Yep, before they even got their time in the sun, Sophia, Emma, Olivia, Jackson, Aiden and Lucas are already old news and totally uncool again.

It really is a cut-throat game, this name business.

Their likely successors aren’t exactly as, erm, normal either. (Post continues after audio.)

Why, you ask? Well, trend predictor (seriously, someone tell me how I get into this career path) Pamela Redmond told Today USA that 2017 will take on a more godly and ~supernatural~ vibe.

Thor, Jupiter and Zeus are among those predicted to have the biggest surge in popularity in 2017, as are Persephone, Atlas, Clio, Orion, Morrigan and Pandora.

Persephone. Can we just marinate that thought for a little longer? PERSEPHONE. It sounds like some sort of prescription cough medication.

Oh, and Atlas. How could one forget Atlas?

If you're reading those names and thinking to yourself, 'huh, which are for boys, and which are for girls?' that's precisely where you're wrong, pal! Because another 2017 baby name trend is throwing out the gender rulebook once and for all.

SIDE NOTE: I know, this is all so confusing, just stick with me here and let's hope we make it out alive.

In fact, pulling a bit'ova switcheroo between boy and girl names is uber fashionable (Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were really onto something, huh?) EXCEPT for when you're naming your little girl after a feminist warrior.

If that's the case, the girl names Ada, Eleanor, Zelda and Frida are all set to soar.

PHEW.

Okay, we all good? Have you got the new, undeniably fickle rules down pat?

Great. Now go forth, procreate, and name the resulting child accordingly.