The strangely graphic 60s sex-ed book that might turn you off sex (for life).

Ahhh, sex-ed.

There’s nothing quite so cringe-inducing, stomach-churning and scarring. Especially if you had a mum who described sex as “a really special hug with lots of wiggling and good tickling feelings”, and a dad who suspiciously suffered from a coughing-fit and exited the room whenever the “where did I come from” question popped up.

It could be worse though.

What’s the only thing worse than parents talking about wiggling and tickling feelings, you ask? Them using a picture book that is so graphic and detailed that it makes you want to sit in a bath of detergent for a week.

Enter this particularly graphic sex-ed book from 1968, which leaves no stone unturned.

Because covering how farm animals get it on is essential information you simply MUST cover in the sex talk with your kids. Obviously.

We start off pretty slow, dipping our toes into the water if you will, with the aid of this cute plant analogy.

“With the help of sun and rain,” so cuuuuuute! Right?

Hold up, because things are about to get weird.

REALLY FREAKIN’ WEIRD.

You might be wondering what a hen and a rooster are doing in a children’s sex book. We wondered that too. Don’t you worry though – that rooster’s mighty sperm (which is inexplicably chilling on the floor next to his foot) is about to be put to good use.

And by “put to good use” we mean that he “places his opening against hers”… *shudders*.

Want to know what rooster/hen sex looks like? Of course you do!

Rooster and Hen Love Makin’, people.

Okay, great! So now that we’ve covered the animal kingdom side of things we’ll be moving right al-

WAIT! We really need to cover how dogs do it, first. Because, well, we don’t really get a reason. We just get THIS.

Why yes, that is sperm entering a dog’s vagina. Just delightful.

Next up?

Mr and Ms Paper Genitalia! (And an explanation of the missionary position.)

All of that decoded: ‘Unlike plants and your pets, your mum and dad do it because they like each other.’

Bow Chicka Wow Wow + nine or so months of gestation equals…

Paper Baby!

Which eventually grows into…

YOU!

Ugh, that was traumatic but we got there.

What’s the most awkward ‘sex talk’ moment you’ve experienced?