'I went to Samoa to watch Australian Survivor. This is what I learned.'

So I went to Samoa to watch Australian Survivor while they were filming last year. 

Yes. As part of my job.

I KNOW.

via GIPHY

As a Survivor fan, there's just nothing like watching challenges LIVE and attending a tribal council LIVE. The thrill of having host Jonathan LaPaglia say 'The tribe has spoken' right in front of you is like a zing up your spine.

I also found out the answers to those important burning questions: Where do the players poop? What happens when they get their period? Do they shave your legs (because it all looks so smooth!)? Do crew members watch them all the time, aka, EVEN WHILE THE PLAYERS SLEEP AT NIGHT?

Watch the trailer for Australian Survivor 2023. Story continues below.

So if you want to know all the tea, then come with me.

Because I was there. In Samoa. Did I mention that already?

It's harder to play in Samoa than in Australia and Fiji.

According to host LaPaglia, Samoa is the worst (even though it's beautiful).

"I'm happy to be back in a beautiful tropical location. What's not to like? That being said, it's tough out here. People all the time are like, 'Oh my god, you host Survivor, that must be so much fun.' And it is fun. But it's actually really, really hard. People don't really understand how big this production is, and how tough the conditions are. It's tough for the players and it's just as tough for the crew," LaPaglia told Mamamia in Samoa.

"You know, we shot in Australia the last couple of seasons, conditions were really tough there. Heat was incredible, 45 degrees every day. A bunch of people passed out. That being said, this season we have a few players who played in Australia and returned to play here. So they've never played in the tropics before. And they've found it more difficult playing here."

LaPaglia said the unpredictability of the conditions in Samoa and the intense humidity are what make it the most difficult. "And also it rains a lot. And I think the players have really struggled with that. It's okay for me, because I have a roof over my head, but they have a palm frond at night. So they're trying to sleep when it's teeming down with rain, water’s pouring through their shelter. The fire goes out. It's like trying to sleep in a shower. It’s miserable. It’s so cold. And you have that night after night. So I think they found that the players have found that quite difficult."

We also interviewed Sam, Shonee and Flick in the Jury Villa to find out their opinion.

I was at the Jury Villa. In Samoa.

"One of the hardest challenges to me last time I played [six years ago in Samoa] was the nights," Sam told Mamamia. "The actual game isn't that hard, I don't find it hard. Like, I love being social. I love meeting people, genuinely learning about people. But the nights here, when it rains a lot and then it gets hot – it really fucks with your mindset. That’s the hardest thing. And I've heard that again, this whole game. I think it's everyone's biggest challenge. And when I played the first time, it was everyone's biggest challenge. It felt like that, anyway."

Flick questioned why she signed up a second time when it rained for five straight days. "It was actually like a tropical storm," she said. "Just like damp and freezing cold. You wouldn't think it, on an island, but it's freezing."

For three-time returning player Shonee, Samoa was even harder than Fiji. "Everything was just wet. On Villains [tribe], we had two meals of rice in the first five days," she told Mamamia. "We're all rocking up to challenges, 'Hey, Jonathan, Yeah, we're really hanging in there, giving it our best shot.'"

Are the challenges hard or easy?

This one's easy to answer: It's hard. Like really, really hard.

It LOOKS easy on television, but I can attest that even on a full stomach, I and my fellow journalists were s**t at it. Not that we are the most athletic people, but objectively, it required a level of coordination that we obviously did not possess. How on earth do the players do it after only eating rice and beans for days on end?

So, what's the poop situation?

There IS a basic toilet at camp (Read: it's a pit toilet). If you need to go for a number one or two when you're on a challenge or at tribal council, you basically drop your pants in the bushes.

As for the other burning questions:

What happens when the players get their period? They're given pads/tampons. Come on, we aren't animals!

Do they shave their legs? Yes... at home before they go on Survivor. Once you're playing, you're playing, and there are no wax strips or razors around. Anyway, a little hair never killed anyone.

Do crew members sit around watching the players sleep at night? Yes! It sounds creepy, but it's necessary - just in case something happens. For the most part, the crew probably find it really boring.

George is the player who surprised LaPaglia the most.

In terms of challenges, the King of Bankstown surprised Survivor's host the most. "The first time he played, he didn’t think the challenges were that important. It was much more about the strategy for him, which he’s unbelievable at," LaPaglia said.

"And I think that kind of cost him the win in the end, because the jury was full of people who value the effort required to perform a challenge and never give up. So it didn't bode well for him. And I think he really learned that lesson. And he's been working out. And he really gives a good hard crack now."

The King. Image: Network 10.

This is the first time returning player Sam played with George. "He's a very special human. George is a good guy. Very smart, very funny. He's a real big fan [of the show], he would do anything to play. I'm not a massive super fan of this game. I love it, but if you asked me if I've watched any of the US Survivors, I'd be lying if I said I have. He can tell you every move, every person's name, where they live probably, what they do for work, who won the last Survivor in America, Australia, who was working together. He knows everything. This is his life," Sam said.

"So with that probably comes a lot of expectation and pressure to live up to that in his own life. I hope that it doesn't stuff with his mental health. Because, like, when you put so much emphasis on that as your worth and your identity, it can be really toxic on the other end of it if something doesn't go to your plan."

Tribal council is INTENSE.

It's surreal, really. You see it so often on screen that when it's in front of you, it feels as though it's not really real, if that makes sense.

I was so tempted to write my name on the parchment and stick it in the basket. 

It's also really strange seeing LaPaglia ask the players questions and them answering without any music or editing. You'd think it would be less dramatic, but somehow it was even more intense because it was so raw.

The day we attended the tribal council was the day Shaun got voted out (which aired last night). Everyone thought Simon was going, so it was a shock when Shaun left. I remember thinking, "Oh my god, I'm witnessing a blindside!" 

In person!

It was FABULOUS.

Later, Shonee and Flick told us they (the jury members) have to be careful who they smile at or frown at when they're at tribal council because they don't want the players to know who they are favouring. If they did, then the remaining players would then try to get out the person/s being favoured by the jury.

Flick and Hayley have... beef?

Things might be different now, because this interview with the jury members took place last year when feelings were still fresh, but when asked how Flick and Hayley got along (Hayley had a hand in voting out Flick), the answer was, "Look, I'm sure once all this is said and done we'll be able to sit down with a glass or a bottle of wine and figure out what happened," Flicik told us. "But what I take away from it is people come into this game and play with different moral compasses. And ours are not the same."

Oooooooooohhhhhhhh.

This is the end of Survivor for the returning players. Kind of.

After returning three times, Shonee is done. The day she was voted out, she was "disheveled", she told us.

"I cannot even begin to describe the way I felt. I was like a walking little twig. Like, someone give me some calories right now, please. And then I got a club sandwich. Cookies was on set. Oh, and these little doughnuts. Samoan doughnuts. The last three nights I was dreaming of doughnuts. And then seeing them now? I was like, thank goodness," she laughs.

"Day 33, I hit a wall. I wasn't really able to have conversations anymore. I was crying over how exhausted I felt. I really am proud of myself. But I feel like I really would have gone downhill. I lost 13 percent of my body weight and I just wasn't feeling great. Now I've got a bit more pizazz back."

And as for returning for another season? "I've had three great attempts. I made jury every time. I'm proud of my effort," she said. "Maybe if I was a lot bigger, I could, but this time, no, like, oh god. I'm triggered by day 33. But four times? As if – no one wants to watch that, anyway!"

Plus, Flick has other things on her mind, too. "I'll never say never, but on my radar next is my actual career. Big-wave surfing, world tour and babies. That's the forecast. And then we'll revisit reality TV after that."

The three jury members think this player will win...

"There's only one winner at the end of the day," Sam said. "And I reckon Simon will win."

Shonee hopes Liz makes it all the way. "She’s so good. She says what everyone is thinking. She's so funny. She's so strong. She's Olympian. So I'm like, okay, she's got it. She could win three individual immunities in a row. And I would vote for her above anyone because I would want her to have half a million dollars. But I feel like Simon might win."

Flick is gunning for Simon to take the title of sole survivor, too. "Coming into this game, if you told me at the end I'd be sitting here being like, 'I want Simon to win', I would have just been, 'You’re joking? Wash your mouth out with soap, there's no way I would ever say that.' I even said like something I'll eat my buff if Simon makes it through the next vote and then, all of a sudden, he's still in the game," she says with a laugh.

"And now that I'm out, my perspective has changed on him. I want Simon to win. He's been left out of every conversation. He has burned everyone. [But] he owns it, whereas someone like George doesn't own it."

As for LaPaglia's pick? "Look, they're all my children. Don't make me pick one, okay? I love all of them. I just want them to try as hard as possible and take this thing. If they go out there swinging every day, then they’re my favourite."

Yep, that's what he said. To me. In Samoa.

Feature image: Courtesy of Network 10.