Aubrey Plaza just told us what grief really feels like after losing her husband.

Aubrey Plaza has opened up about the "awfulness" of grief following the death of her husband, director Jeff Baena, earlier this year.

In January, Baena took his life at his Los Angeles home. He was 47. At the time, a joint statement from Plaza and Baena's family described it as an "unimaginable tragedy".

Now, Plaza has shared exactly what that's looked like for her these last months.

Appearing on Amy Poehler's podcast Good Hang, The White Lotus and Parks and Recreation star was asked about how she was managing during a "terrible, tragic year".

"In this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you," Plaza said. "Overall, I'm here and I'm functioning. I feel really grateful to be moving through the world.

"I think I'm okay, but it's a daily struggle, obviously."

Watch a snippet of Aubrey Plaza on Amy Poehler's Good Hang podcast. Post continues below.

Plaza used sci-fi horror film The Gorge as a "really dumb analogy" to describe how grief changed her life.

In the movie, Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy play two highly-trained operatives stationed in guard towers on opposite sides of a vast gorge, protecting the world from the mysterious evil that lies within.

Watching it was a lightbulb moment for Plaza.

"I was like, 'That's what this feels like, what my grief is like… or what grief could be like'," she said.

"At all times, there's like a giant ocean of awfulness that's like right there, and I can see it. And sometimes, I just want to dive into it and be in it.

"And then sometimes, I just look at it. And then sometimes, I'm just trying to get away from it. But it's always there."

In the episode, Poehler asked the actress how she avoids 'the gorge' of grief dragging her down and consuming her.

Her answer was simple yet sweet: her funny girlfriends.

"A group of my women friends … we have, like, a text chain and we do Zooms and trips and those girls make me laugh really, really hard," Plaza said.

"We've all known each other for so long. That's the best thing that makes me laugh. My funny friends."

Plaza compared her grief to The Gorge. Image: AppleTV.

Plaza had been in a relationship with Baena for more than a decade before he became her husband.

Notoriously quiet about their private lives, subtly dropped the news in 2021 that the two had quietly tied the knot.

While appearing on The Ellen Show, Plaza said they got married on a whim as a way to celebrate their 10-year anniversary.

Joking that they "got a little bored one night" during the pandemic, Plaza said they were looking for "something special" to do to mark the occasion.

"Get an ice cream cone or do something special," she said, before recalling they "joked about getting married".

When Baena replied they "probably couldn't get married" that same day, Plaza began Googling options. Soon, she found the site 1hourmarriage.com.

After calling the service at 5pm, Plaza was told that there wouldn't be anyone available to marry them until the next day.

"Well, that's not what you're advertising," she quipped.

However, the officiant told Plaza that he could meet with the couple that day if they were willing to "pay extra" for him to travel to Los Angeles. The pair wed that evening and "didn't tell anybody [they] were doing it". In fact, Baena "almost missed the wedding" himself, because he was picking up a food order.

"Then the man… showed up with a Hawaiian shirt and a briefcase and I can't remember a lot of it. It was fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure it's legal," Plaza said of the wedding.

Over the course of their relationship, Baena and Plaza worked together several times, including 2014's Life After Beth, 2017's The Little Hours, and the 2021 TV series Cinema Toast, which Plaza directed and starred in.

Speaking about the collaboration in 2021, Plaza told People about the experience of quarantining with Baena whilst simultaneously putting together a show.

"It was very hectic while we were making the show because we were quarantined and Jeff, he created the show; it was his idea," Plaza said. "Our house became this strange post-production facility and he's downstairs on his Zooms or on his sessions and I'm upstairs editing, we're just going back and forth."

"It was very us. We were not baking sourdough bread, but we were sifting through hours of old movies and footage and re-cutting them together and just letting our minds go on a trip. So it was great," she added.

Jeff Baena and Aubrey Plaza were together for more than a decade. Image: Getty.

In 2019, Plaza also spoke about the mutual understanding and comfort she shared with her husband, given they were in the same industry.

"I think that when you're with someone that is in your field, they understand what you're dealing with on a deeper level," she said.

"So obviously you are able to support each other and really understand kind of the journey that we're both on."

Baena grew up in Miami before pursuing film studies at New York University. After graduating, he relocated to Los Angeles to start his career in the entertainment industry.

His most notable films include 2004's I Heart Huckabees which starred Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law and Naomi Watts and 2014's Life After Beth, which starred Plaza and was Baena's directorial debut.

Aubrey Plaza and her husband Jeff Baena worked together several times. Image: Getty.

On January 3, 2025, Baena was found dead in his home.

According to documents TMZ obtained from the LA County Medical Examiner's report, Baena had been separated from Plaza since September 2024.

The publication reports the pair spoke the night before Baena's death, and Plaza allegedly last heard from him at 7:36am on the morning of his passing, when he sent her a text message.

When officers spoke to Plaza after Baena was found, she reportedly confirmed their separation.

According to the documents, Plaza revealed that Baena had made "concerning remarks in October 2024," which prompted her to call a friend to perform a welfare check on him.

Plaza allegedly stated that Baena did not make any previous suicide attempts and had been seeing a therapist following those "concerning remarks."

In January, Plaza and Baena's family issued a joint statement, describing the death as an "unimaginable tragedy".

"We are deeply grateful to everyone who has offered support. Please respect our privacy during this time," it read.

The statement followed on from the 2025 Golden Globe Awards, where Baena was honoured by a number of industry collaborators and close friends.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.

This article was originally published on January 7, 2025 and has since been updated with new information.

Feature image: Getty.