Hollywood, ageing and the f*ckability factor.

by REBECCA SPARROW

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

A Hollywood actress turns 40. And to celebrate the milestone, she decides to peel off her top, unzip her jeans and pose for a series of  in-your-face sexy photos while gushing about how comfortable she now is in her own skin.

Yes, yes Jennifer Anistan, Kylie Minogue, Catherine Zeta Jones, Cameron Diaz, I’m looking at you. Well, I’m looking at your boobs actually, Cameron  SINCE THEY’RE IN MY FACE in your Esquire Magazine photoshoot.

I like Cameron Diaz. She looks like the type of woman  I’d want to sit next to in the booth on a girls night out. The type of girl who’d drag you onto the dance floor when Super Freak comes on. The type of girl who’d shout you all your margaritas if it were your birthday and happily eschew any male attention in favour of hanging out with her gal pals and workshopping life’s current conundrums. As a female friend, I suspect she’s tops.

But I’m a little over this need for actresses to pose like Benny Hill throwbacks when they turn 40.

Because those images of Diaz  bending over (OH COME ON!) on the cover of a men’s mag, cancel out any of the interesting insights she offers up in the Esquire interview.   Diaz makes a salient point about marriage. But it’s kinda lost. Because her insights are incongruous with the images of the actress posing with her legs open.

Do I get that Hollywood is a morally bankrupt place? Yes. Do I get that actresses feel all kinds of insane pressure to ‘prove’ they still look like Hotty McHottersons  once they’re too old to play the role of the babe/girlfriend in movies? Yes.

But it’s a vicious circle. And if female celebs continue to pitch themselves as men’s mag meat it only serves to reinforce the notion that a woman’s value is measured solely by her looks. That when you turn 40 (or 30 or 50) all that truly matters is that you still have “f*ckability” factor.

Every other achievement is razored.

So you’ve just turned 40? Who cares that you’re fluent in Spanish?  That you volunteered for a year in the Northern Territory?  That you had your heart broken at 27. But learned to love living alone by 35.  What does it matter that you fulfilled a dream to learn how to surf. That you have achieved real career fulfillment. That you paint in your spare time.  Or sing.  Or bake.

All that matters as a woman is that you look smokin’ in a pair of hot pants. And that men still want to root you.

Or maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe I’m just bitter.

I’m forty, too. And I don’t look like Cameron Diaz. I look like I ate Cameron Diaz.

I have the hips of Wilma Flintstone and the arse of Fred’s.

But I don’t think it’s jealousy, I’m feeling. It’s weariness.

You want to celebrate turning 40 by having some gorgeous, sexy photos taken? Knock yourself out! Seriously.  I love to see photos of women celebrating how they look and positively redefining what it means to be getting older. I have no issue with that. But a men’s mag, Cameron?  Posing like a porn star for the cover of a men’s mag?   You’re better than that.  Let me buy you a margarita and we’ll talk it through …

 See more of Cameron’s pics + other covers of celebs over 40:

You can see even more naked magazine covers – from celebrities of all ages! – here. 

What do you think of these photographs?  Sexy? Or a bit tacky?  How important is it to you to look ‘hot’ when you turn 40 (or hit any other birthday milestone)?