VNSFW: Five things you need to know about anal sex before you try it.

Bum fun. Fifth base. Fudge packing. Dancing the chocolate cha-cha.

If you haven’t caught on yet, we’re talking about the butt.  Anal sex. Don’t cringe, don’t judge, don’t scream, it’s a happening thing. And after a listener rang in to ask The Prude and the Pornstar podcast how they should approach the delicate dance of different holes, Madison Missina, sex worker and sex therapist gave us the low down.

Hear Madison talk with ‘prude’ Carla GS in this week’s episode of The Prude and The Pornstar about everything butt sex related… (Post continues after audio.)

So here goes. Write these down. Bookmark the page. Send it to your partner. Share it to your Facebook page if you’re feeling brave.  Here’s all you need to know:

You’re going to need really good quality lube.

One of the most important things to note, is that if you are going to experiment then you need to invest in a specialised anal lube.

Madison says they’re generally silicon based.  While you can use water based lubes, she finds they dry up.  “Your arse really isn’t as self lubricating as your vagina so you kind of need a lube that’s going to hang around and really do its job well.” she explains.

Got it.

Then there is the hygiene issue…

If you’re going to explore anal sex then you need to be prepared for the fact that it can get messy. In fact, Madison says it’s “just one of those facts of life.”

Most of the time, Madison says, if you’re an average person who has healthy bowel movements, and you have been to the toilet beforehand, you won’t need to worry. But sometimes it can happen. (And , yes it has happened to her. Even pornstars get the poos.)

But there is also one other thing you can do to try your best to prevent such a situation, and that is douching beforehand.

“A douche basically is a bulb that I fill with water so I can clean out my anal passage so I can make sure there’s no poop there. You can buy them from sex stores, you can get them from chemists…” she explains.

Our Prude, Carla GS and Madison Missina, our Porn Star. (Image: supplied)

You have two sphincters.

What is a sphincter you ask? That's the circular muscle that controls your poo from getting out. And there's two of them in your butt. In order to have safe, pain free anal sex, you need to relax both of them.

The internal sphincter is a smooth muscle ring at the upper end of the anus. This one, you don't consciously control. It works automatically. The external anal sphincter is at the lower end of the anus and can be more easily squeezed and relaxed.

For more episodes from our fabulous duo, The Prude and The Pornstar, subscribe to the show in iTunes, via your favourite podcast app, or listen to the latest full episode below. But as always - listen with headphones on, as this show is strictly adults only. 

"Even though they will naturally relax when poop goes out to evacuate...they can also relax when you put a penis, or a sex toy, or hand up there...it's a matter of relaxing the two muscles, and I find personally, the first muscle is the easiest...the deeper one is tougher, because it takes more time." she explains.

Anal sex is NOT like what you see in porn.

Anal sex IRL is not like anal sex in porn. Because, in case you missed it, in porn it's acting. And those actors  have done a lot of warm-up and training to do anal sex scenes.

"In porn, anal sex scenes look really easy...I think it gives the impression, particularly to young men...that women really like anal sex, 'cause in the porn movies you don't see us going, 'oh that's a bit fast, I'm not quite ready for that yet,'" Madison says.

So slow down, cupcake. Take it easy. Remember there are two sphincters in this situation and they need to remain relaxxxxxed.

It can feel good.

Oh, yes! This part.  Madison explains that anal sex is very much an advanced sexual technique, but if you have done it the right way, have taken your time to relax, and it hasn't hurt, you can have "really phenomenal orgasms."

"When the penis enters your arse, it actually goes and hits directly at your G-spot." she says.

There you have it. Anal 101.

READ MORE: 

• Five women share their anal sex horror stories.
• Lube, anal and toys: The dos and don’ts of pregnant sex.
• Gwyneth Paltrow’s website has taught us a few things about anal sex.

The award-winning podcast Mamamia Out Loud is doing their first live show. There will be laughs, disagreements and you can meet the hosts afterwards! We’re also donating $5 of every ticket price to Share The Dignity so grab your friends and come along to share the love and laughs, get your tickets here.