Yes, well.
We need to discuss a matter of national significance.
You may recall that at the end of this season of The Bachelorette, Ali Oetjen and Taite Radley declared their undying, six-week love to each other.
They then rode off into the sunset, eating protein balls/talking about leg day, and lived happily ever after.
Or… did they?
You see, although the bachie couple are publicly saying they’re still together, things seem… fishy.
A lil’ bit suss if you will.
So, like any good spotlight journalist, I did some investigatin’.
Here are all the clues Ali and Taite are definitely maybe possibly no longer together:
1. They’re contractually obligated to stay together for three months.
A few weeks ago, our good friend and Osher traitor Honey Badger, let slip that bachie couples are contractually obligated to stay together for three months after the finale airs.
“People are so brainwashed, you’re not going to get your fairytale ending every time,” he told ABC Radio National.
“What’s more important: me just saying ‘yes’ and going through the motions and dragging some girl through all the media about how we’re in love and then three months down the track after the contract’s over, we’re allowed to break up?” he continued.
“That’s happened [in the past]. I wasn’t going to do that because I have respect for the girl,” he added.