wellness

'I've been sober for 9 years. Here's how I navigate the festive season alcohol-free.'

If you're newly sober and still finding your feet in the social arena, it's bloody tough. Add in all the frivolities of the silly season and you can honestly feel royally stuffed.

Everywhere you turn there are corks popping, cocktails shaking and glasses clinking.

While you're here watch Shanna Whan on staying 'Sober in the Country'. Story continues after video.


Video via Mamamia

And for the person who’s still pretty attached to the drink being a large part of their socialising habits, that environment is honestly pretty shite.

I clearly remember my first sober Christmas as one of the most prevalent times that I felt DIFFERENT.

I had always understood how ingrained in our culture it is to celebrate the opening of an envelope with a glass of champagne but it just felt like that period of the festive season it became rampant. Avoiding the expected requirement to end the year drunk felt inescapable.

Here are my top tips on navigating the nonsense:

Be emotionally prepared.

Christmas stirs up all kinds of extreme emotions in all of us. Add in the stress of meeting end of year deadlines, financial pressures and the possibility of either spending it alone or with people who don't make you happy and you have the capacity for a real shaky time. Even without the grog involved, that in itself can tip you over the edge. Alcohol simply amplifies whatever emotions you are experiencing at the time. Feeling out of sorts around family in the early days is very common, especially if they are also drinkers causing some inner turmoil that can no longer be numbed out by the bottle.

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It’s ok to say no.

Your recovery comes first!

Skipping the events that you know are going to be difficult to navigate is completely acceptable. In fact, in new found sobriety, it’s recommended. You are not super human. If the temptation is going to be too great, then eliminate it all together. While we tend to identify this initially as a weakness, you will soon come to the realisation that it is actually a strength. Assessing your current capacity to cope in any given situation will be one of your key powers in keeping you sober.

Distract yourself.

If you DO decide to go, it is absolutely vital that you understand your limits and triggers. Sometimes this can be the constant flow of alcohol passing you by. It’s vital that you focus on something that keeps you feeling strong and in control. Focus on conversations with people you know are taking it easy or place yourself next to the food table. If it’s a family event, find the closest child and allow them to amuse you. If it gets too much, find a quiet corner where you can breathe and reflect on how well you are doing. These days you will find that I am usually the one in the kitchen bringing out the food or packing the dishwasher.

Plan your exit.

Many things may activate your own temptation button at a function or event and put you at risk of partaking and falling off the wagon. Feelings of overwhelm are not uncommon and what used to be a seemingly easy engagement of personalities can often become really uncomfortable when you are not drinking. Personally, I tend to avoid being around really messy people. It just doesn’t work for me. Conversations dwindle into repetitive meaningless banter and my interest in hanging around quickly dissipates. That’s when I know it’s time to go. And if you don’t feel like saying goodbye, just leave.

No-one is going to remember anyway.

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Listen to Fill My Cup. On this episode, More and more people are becoming sober curious. So if this Christmas you're considering giving up cocktails for mocktails than this episode is for you. Post continues below.

Maintain your fitness routine.

The single most important thing you can do during this whole crazy season is maintain some kind of consistency with exercise. Having the discipline and structure of a training program is an added accountability tool in any normal time but becomes an essential distraction while the festivities are in full swing. Scheduling in the non-negotiable sessions will physiologically keep your brain in a positive space to begin with. It helps to negate the anxious energy that this time of the year invokes and provides another much-needed distraction.

In reality, staying sober through the Christmas period is going to be a challenge without a doubt. And the ability to acknowledge this is what will probably make yours a success story. Surrendering to the realisation that the celebrations as you previously knew them are going to look a little different.

But by different, by no means does that mean boring, miserable and lacking in joy.

Christmas for me today holds a different significance. It really is much more about family, connection and the spirit of giving. I remember vividly what it was like to lose day after day, spending so much of this previous time either knee deep in an ‘artificial’ state of joy or recovering from the previous day and evenings.

That’s not what it should be all about.

Don’t let four weeks of celebratory overkill destroy what you have worked so hard to create. It’s time for a new Christmas story.

Feature Image: Instagram


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