What happened to this girl when she was 14 is chilling.

By KATE LEAVER

Warning: This post deals with bullying, sexual assault, and suicide. 

We answered the phone yesterday to a distraught woman.

Her voice was strong, but shaking with urgency. Something had happened to her daughter and she wanted us to know about it.

Late last week, her 17-year-old had attempted suicide.

“As the paramedics were strapping her onto the stretcher and loading her into the ambulance, it hit me that I thought I was going to lose her,” she said. “Thankfully, she pulled through. She’s at home with me now, recovering. But if I’m going to stop other mothers from losing their children, I need to do something. I need to tell you the story of why my daughter tried to take her life.”

This is that story.

In 2011, during recess at her Adelaide high school, the girl – who was then just fourteen – was wrapped in a garden hose, tied to a tree in the school yard, and allegedly sexually assaulted by a group of eight male students. Two girls reportedly stood by watching, photographing the incident. Later, those girls are alleged to have posted photographs of the attack on Facebook and claimed responsibility for inciting it. Friends of the boys commented on Facebook, congratulating those involved for a “hilarious prank” and calling them “f***ing legends”.

Immediately after the incident, the girl returned to class, in shock. When the school day finished, she ran home and went straight to her bedroom, telling her mother that she had a headache. She cried herself to sleep, confused and ashamed.

She started skipping school, too scared to return to class. She fought with her mother and her grandmother about missing school so often because she wasn’t ready to tell them why. Her parents had just divorced, her mother had lost their house, and her uncle had recently died. She kept the incident to herself, not wanting to upset her family anymore.

The girl became depressed and so despondent that her grades slipped and she dropped out of school mid-way through last year.

In March 2014, the girl’s doctor booked her in for psychiatric assessment.

That’s when, finally, the girl was able to tell her mother what had happened in that school yard three years ago.

“The doctor asked her if she had ever been bullied. I remember, she looked across at me like she was expecting me to freak out,” the girl’s mother told us.

“That’s when all was revealed. She took out her phone to show me photos of the attack on Facebook. I took a screenshot of them on my phone, and called the police straight away. Then I called the school but it was during holidays so I couldn’t get hold of anyone. When I got home, I wrote a letter to the education department because I didn’t have time to wait for the teachers to get back to school from holidays. My girl had been alone with this secret with for three years, I needed to make something happen.”

As Chief Court Reporter Sean Fewster at The Advertiser reports, the matter is now in the hands of police.

A spokesperson for the South Australian police told Mamamia, “SA Police confirms the incident in 2011 was first reported to police on 16 April 2014. As the matter is currently under investigation SA Police are unable to make any further comment at this time.”

The principal of the high school where the incident allegedly took place declined to comment as the case is under police investigation.

Since police launched that investigation, the mother of the victim says her home has been vandalised and her car windows smashed. When we spoke yesterday, she was preparing to go to the police station to make a statement because, she alleges, she has been receiving abusive text messages from the parent of a girl who bullied her daughter. The way members of a community have rallied around the boys in this situation might be familiar.

The potential parallels between this story and the Steubenville rape case in Ohio, USA — in which local football heroes raped a girl, posted photos on social media, and then blamed her for ruining their reputations — are chilling.

Commenters on social media have reportedly blamed this Adelaide-based victim for ruining the reputation of the boys involved in the incident (even though she had nothing to do with spreading the demeaning photograph of herself, and didn’t tell anyone about what had happened – even her own family). Some of the boys were apparently hoping to get sport scholarships – and they’ve blamed the girl they attacked for spoiling their chances of that.

Holding individuals accountable is just the start. This woman wants to make noise and she wants to make change: “If we don’t stop abuse and bullying like this from happening in our schools, there will be more incidents, and we will lose our kids. What happened to my daughter, is happening over and over elsewhere. This is just one incident, and I’m grateful that it’s getting media attention – but there have been others.

“My daughter thought for two years that she was alone. People need to know what happened to my daughter because we need change. So many kids are suffering, and they might not have the skills to speak to the media or the police. That’s why I’m speaking out about this, with my daughter’s support.”

The young girl is at home with her mother and her grandmother now. They’re hoping that this week, she will return to the college she enrolled in recently, where the principal has promised to protect her.

Finally.

Please share this post to help put an end to bullying in our schools. We’ll keep you up to date with this story. 

If this post brings up issues for you, or you just need someone to talk to, please call Lifeline on 131 114.

You can also visit the Lifeline website here and the Beyond Blue website here.

 

Follow @kateileaver
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