There's a magical solution to fixing your sex life in 2017 and it involves your calendar.

It’s the future none of us want, but all of us dread.

The dreaded slump into long term relationship sex. An obligation-based routine that seems a lifetime away from the hot and heavy spontaneity of the early days.

A quickie before heading out to dinner loses its appeal – ‘I’ve only just done my makeup!’ – whilst morning sex is quickly replaced with morning battles to get the kids off to school. Life replaces lust, and the longer you leave doing the deed, the heavier the burden of guilt becomes.

But one American sex counsellor and author thinks he might have the magical solution to boring couple bedroom routines: a sex schedule.

Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counsellor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy, and working with individuals on a range of relational issues.

In his article, Your new year's sex resolution: Be less spontaneous, Kerner encourages couples in long term relationships to get practical about their sex lives, and let go of the spontaneity myth.

He hits the nail on the head when it comes to putting off sex in order for more important tasks.

"'We'll do it more in the new year,' you may resolve. But pretty soon, looming work deadlines, your kids' busy schedules, and even just the lure of your sofa and the remote control conspire to keep sex on the back burner," explains Kerner.

"And that's a problem. Sex is the glue that holds us together, and without it, couples can begin to feel like roommates or "just friends" at best."

Ouch. But true.

Well hold onto your black lacy knickers, girls, because a lifetime of 7.30pm starfishing whilst you think about food shopping doesn't have to be your reality.

The solution lies in planning.

Whether it's an Outlook invite, circled date on the calendar, or alarm in your phone (maybe save it under something less obvious), Kerner is all about plotting in time every week to get jiggy with your partner.

But fear not: these weekly sexy times don't have to be able leaping under the sheets - it's more about giving yourself the physical and mental space to become aroused.

"Media representations of "hot sex" almost always depict this type of have-to-have-you-now encounter, which is most common among new couples," says Kerner.

"But desire isn't always spontaneous. It can also be responsive, emerging in response to something that came before it. What's that something? Arousal."

It's the lack of arousal activity, says Kerner, that eventually kills your sex life.

Kerner is a man that speaks to the modern couple. He just gets that sometimes you're just too tired, too stressed, or too pissed off to feel sexy.

So, rather than focusing on the sex, do something that turns you both on - and see what happens.

Whether it's having a hot makeout session, massage, watching some porn, or jumping in the shower together; it's just about checking out of ordinary life (read: kids, cooking, work, dirty laundry) and checking into an intimate escape with your partner.

"Resolve to create a "willingness window" once or twice a week for 15 minutes," says Kerner, "and decide with your partner on an arousal-generating activity you can put in that window."

Sheesh. A rather non-sexy way of encouraging us all to get sexy, right?

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Whilst Kerner's 'sex schedule' feels a little awkward, there's something to be said for taking the extreme pressure out of regular sex for long-term couples.

Sex is meant to be enjoyable, after all. So finding the time just to enjoy each other as opposed to committing to actual sex? It makes sense.

In his article, Kerner quotes another sex educator, Emily Nagoski, in describing how a fairly cold 'routine' can eventually become something enticing and intimate:

"A lot of the time what happens is that you just put yourself in bed, touch (your) partner because you put it on your calendar and said you would, and you remember that you like it," said Nagoski. "It can feel a little routine at first, like, 'time to make the doughnuts.' But doughnuts are delicious -- and so is good sex."

Go on, guys. Make the donuts.