‘I host a parenting podcast. Here are 5 helpful things it's taught me about kids and empathy.’

I’ve had the pleasure over the last 4 years to host Mamamia’s parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess alongside fellow toddler parent, Leigh Campbell. 

I know I can speak for both of us in saying that hosting a parenting podcast by no means makes us parenting experts! 

One really great perk of the job though, is that we get to interview and chat with *actual* qualified experts for the show, and essentially accumulate all of that golden knowledge and advice they share with us, to take on our merry way and store in our parenting arsenals.

We're always on the hunt for any tidbits to make this parenting gig a little less uncertain – particularly when we're trying to raise well-rounded, well-adjusted, kind, inclusive and resilient kids.

Here are the 5 most helpful things being a parenting podcast host has taught me so far about raising empathetic kids.

1. A tantrum is never really actually about that specific thing.

Parenting has taught me to read between the lines. 

When my little ones have had meltdowns… it’s very rarely about what they are melting down about. The wrong colour cup, their ice-cream is too cold, their swimmers are wet while swimming. 

As a parent, it can be so challenging to not get completely frustrated by the complete irrationality of these big feelings, but that’s exactly what they are. Big feelings. Feelings that, for whatever reason, they’re unable to articulate or manage so it can come out as an emotional overload. 

Back when we were kids, tantrums were considered kids being ‘naughty’, but I think parenting patience has evolved. We are learning to look beyond our own triggers and show more empathy for their underlying feelings and what they’re experiencing.

2. Connection is key.

We were lucky enough to interview parenting educator and speaker Lael Stone, on her thoughts about ‘aware parenting’. I found even talking to her makes me want to "do better" as a parent. 

Her ‘aware parenting’ approach puts an emphasis on connection. Lael believes there is no such thing as a naughty child, but instead they are either currently feeling in-balance or out-of-balance. And when a child is out-of-balance, they could be craving connection. 

Connection can be different for every child. It might be a cuddle, it might be a heartfelt one-on-one conversation or it might be just getting on their level and playing with them for a little while. All of these things help fill their cup to feel connected and more in-balance.

3. Creative play is vital.

Allowing space for kids to have creative play is crucial for their imagination, storytelling, language and social skills, as well as helping develop their own sense of empathy for others and the world. 

When I was younger playing ‘mums and dads’, it was acting out scenarios using doll play that really built foundations for developing empathy – and I'm continuing this with my own kids. 

Through neuroscience, research has found that even when kids are playing individually by themselves, doll play activates brain regions that allow them to develop empathy and social information processing skills.

My twins in particular *love* playing with their Barbies. When playing with dolls, my kids own have always talked out loud their dolls' actions, thoughts and emotions, which we know is actually putting their own social skills into practice. 

Image: Supplied.

It’s honestly incredible to watch them express themselves through characters in scenarios they've completely imagined and created themselves, and where the characters 'act out' caring for others. I've learnt that kids' empathy is really nurtured through this kind of creative doll play, which in turn, expands the limits of their imagination, self-expression and storytelling.

Barbie also has the most diverse doll line available in the market, with over 175+ new looks and 200+ careers and counting (literally from astronaut to zoologist, princess to president). So, it help drive kids to be excited about the possibilities of play, and reminds them they, too, can be anything.

Image: Supplied.

Image: Supplied.

4. Use role play for preparation.

When we're young, naturally there are so many first times and new experiences. Feelings of uncertainty, shock or fear can often be so overwhelming resulting in a sensory and emotional overload for kids. 

Through interviewing multiple parenting experts on the podcast, a common thread of advice we've picked up is to make sure we are communicating with our kids about what to expect before diving into an unknown. 

I clocked this when my son, Banjo, was due for his 4-year-old immunisations. While it’s a difficult age to convince them to be excited about such an event (!), I figured the more I talk about it and normalise it in the lead-up, the less shock and fear he might feel. 

He was actually excited about it. And after a no fuss injection the doctor even asked me how did I ‘train him’ to be so calm. We told the doctor we'd been chatting about this for quite a while now, so the experience hopefully felt somewhat familiar, and Banjo knew some things to expect. 

(As an extra tidbit too, we 'practised' administering a jab and a bandaid on a doll's arm too! We acted out the scenario, so he knew the order of steps, and generally how quick it would unfold! I'd definitely recommend it to other parents, especially if your kids are expecting a pending scenario, where it'd be handy to bring it to life through play first!)

Listen: Tegan and Holly discuss starting points for introducing kids to First Nations culture and stories. Post continues below.

5. It’s kind to be inclusive. 

Hosting This Glorious Mess has given me insight into so many families and communities different to my own. One of the things I love most is how my kids are subconsciously so accepting of those who may not necessarily be the same as them, whether that be different family units, different cultures, different interests. 

By teaching your kids the positives of being unique, and having physical markers of this through the kids books they have, movies you all watch together, and toys they play with, it can help them embrace others’ uniqueness, and ultimately help nurture their empathy and inclusiveness of diversity. 

If a doll can help a child develop empathy, a doll can help change the world. Shop Barbie online or in-store here. 

Feature Image: Instagram/@tigga_natoli