'I hadn't had sex for 40 years. What I did at 70 surprised even me.'

There is a unique kind of loneliness that exists only within a marriage. For Rachel*, it was the heavy silence of a partnership overshadowed by her husband's own "demons" and his failing business.

What was once a happy marriage that brought her three beautiful children soon became a constant source of stress. And for a woman raised in the 1950s, "duty" often came long before "desire."

This meant sex wasn't just 'off the table', it was a distant memory from a lifetime ago.

And so the time ticked on. Months without intimacy became decades.

When Rachel and her husband separated, her focus was steadfast: take care of her daughters and claw her way out of financial difficulty.

"It was just a terribly difficult time," Rachel told Mamamia.

"My own feelings and personal life were subverted."

She spent the next two decades happily single, but while she was thriving in her independence, her own pleasure remained an afterthought.

"I had so much financial uncertainty for such a long number of years that once I was out on my own… I don't know that I would want someone else in my life," she said.

"I've learned to manage on my own and I just think that's the way I have to do it."

With that acceptance of being alone came another assumption: the door had closed on the intimate part of her life forever.

She was wrong.

It took a single chapter in a book, a discovery about her own pleasure, and eventually, the brave decision to hire an escort to remind her: she was still here. And she was still allowed to feel.

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For years, Rachel focused on building a fulfilling life — and she didn't need a partner to do it.

"I've got a lot of lovely friends… I interact very happily with males," she said. "There hasn't been anybody that I've wanted to get closer to," she said.

But while she was building her life, she was also, unknowingly, building walls. And when she blocked herself off from the risk of love, she also blocked herself off from the possibility of intimacy.

"There were a lot of things about my sexuality that I didn't explore," she admitted.

"I feel I'm terribly naive. You just get on with your life."

Until, at age 70, something shifted.

It started with a novel.

As she turned the pages, Rachel felt a flicker of something she couldn't quite name.

"I don't know what I was feeling," she said.

"It wasn't pornographic or anything like that; it was just a novel, but it had some fairly interesting descriptions of sexual intercourse in it and I found reading it arousing. And then I started to think, 'Oh, what does this mean?'"

It was the first time she'd felt aroused in decades.

After a psychologist pointed her towards resources on female masturbation, Rachel's journey of self-exploration truly began.

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Then, in 2024, that journey took a radical new turn when she discovered a female-run escort service, Her Confidant.

After a phone call with the founder, Rachel found herself on her way to meet a male companion.

The nerves were high, but underneath them was a hum of something else: excitement.

"I felt safe," she said of that first meeting.

"That didn't lead to sexual intercourse, but it was a pleasant rendezvous, I'll call it."

The experience wasn't inexpensive, but for Rachel, it was worth every cent. So much so, that she booked another appointment after returning from a trip last year.

"There was a yearning, more yearning," Rachel said.

And this time? "It was very satisfying."

"One of the things I was surprised at… I'd read and learned that sexual intercourse for older women can become more difficult because they become dry and need a lubricant. That was not my experience."

When Rachel confided in her daughters about her new escapades, their reaction was the best possible outcome: total support.

"I think I can't believe how wonderful it's felt," she said. "It's just made me feel so good."

By rediscovering her sense of pleasure, Rachel has reconnected with a part of herself that had been left in the dark for nearly half a century.

"I suppose some of the time I think, 'Oh, what have I been missing out on'," she said.

"I feel like I've been standing behind the cupboard or something for all these years, but… I'm not an unhappy person. My life is just the way it is. And I think I'm a very fortunate person. So, it's not led me to feel depressed or anything."

Today, Rachel is no longer standing behind that cupboard. She's found a new sense of comfort within herself.

"I'm just so much more aware of pleasuring my own body than I ever was before," Rachel said.

And she has a clear message for any woman who thinks her time has passed:

"I would hope that people would think that it's not... something that 'wears out', if you know what I mean. And that there's nothing wrong with having desires and satisfaction, particularly as an older person."

*Name has been changed for privacy

Feature image: Getty.