friendship

23 reasons I wish I was four years old.

Being four is the best. Everything is downhill from here.

My four-year-old son is the happiest person I know. (Well, apart from those people I used to see stumbling out of dance parties, but that’s a different story.) I’ve been watching him, and I think I’ve worked out why he’s always so happy. And it’s really made me wish I was four again. Here’s why.

1. You can draw any kind of crap scribble, claim it’s a lion or an elephant or whatever, and adults will tell you how talented you are.

2. When you get tired of walking, someone will offer to carry you.

3. There’s this magic word, “please”, and once you learn it, old people will smile at you all the time and give you whatever you want.

4. Everyone loves your fashion choices. You’re a girl wearing a princess dress, you’re adorable. You’re a boy wearing a princess dress, you’re adorable. You pair up your princess dress with gumboots and a cat mask, and you might as well be Gisele Bundchen.

"Adorable, aren't I? Come on..."

5. If you mispronounce a word, people think it's cute.

6. You can listen to the same story 117 times and not get sick of it. In fact, it just gets better.

7. When you run around naked outside, it feels fantastic.

8. You can make a new best friend in under three minutes.

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9. You're going to be an astronaut when you grow up. Or maybe a firefighter. Or a princess. Whatever you end up doing, it's going to be fun.

10. People give you presents. No one expects you to give them anything back. Oh, except maybe one of your crap scribbles, and you can churn out more of those anytime.

11. Anything with lots of sugar in it is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted.

12. Anything with lots of salt in it is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted.

13. Even if your singing is out of tune and you get the words wrong, people will applaud you. In fact, they seem to like it better if you get the words wrong.

14. Random strangers tell you how gorgeous you are. You already know it, but it's always nice to hear it again.

15. You can beat adults in all sorts of games, from noughts and crosses to running races, because you're brilliant at everything. Life is going to be so easy.

"Wow! If I can beat my mum when I'm four, I'll have an Olympic medal by the time I'm eight!"

16. Playing in mud is fun. And then someone will pop you into a nice warm bath so you can play in there too. Win-win!

17. You can fall over and gash your head open, and five minutes later, you've forgotten about it and gone back to playing.

18. If you're behaving like a complete brat, someone will explain it away by saying you're overtired or have had too much red cordial. Whatever. Somehow it's your parents' fault, not yours.

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19. Once you perfect the "sad face" and can get tears spilling out of your eyes, the world is yours for the taking. No kidding.

20. You run around and around in circles, just because you have energy to burn.

21. You always look good in photos because you're not thinking about how you look.

22. Your parents will come up with the most amazing, creative ways to serve carrot and cucumber. They'll chop it any way you like, make it into funny faces on your plate, then praise you if you have even the tiniest bite. You'd eat it anyway because it tastes good, but you appreciate the effort.

23. You have the best parents in the world. Seriously, what are the odds of that?

What do you think is the best thing about being four years old?

Want more? Try this:

You think kids are cute and innocent until they scream out, "Dick! Dick!"

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