"While women are arguing with each other, men continue to run the world."

We are in the middle of a whole new conflict at the moment, and it’s not the War on Terror.

It’s the Feminism Wars, where week after week, women come out and denounce other women as being a Bad Feminist, or a Self-Hating Feminist or the latest incarnation, the TERF (Trans-exclusionary Radical Feminist.) For those of us with longer memories, its reminiscent of the “Mummy Wars” of the 80s, where various writers and researchers would reveal “evidence” that children of working mothers would either go on drugs or rule the world, depending on your point of view.

The problem with this latest, pointless skirmish is that there is one obvious group who benefits. While we are arguing and laying blame, men just carry on doing what they’ve always done – running the world. At the end of each day, they sit back in the executive boardroom, light up a fat cigar and high-five each other. “We don’t even have to try that hard,” they say smugly, “those bitches are too busy fighting each other.”

Click through the gallery below to see images of the #WomenAgainstFeminism movement. (Post continues after gallery…)

I think that every time you buy into this war, most of which is fanned by a mainstream media run by men or a lazy author with a book to sell, you are taking your eye off the main game. If you are not interested in equal pay for equal work, control over your own body, and equality of opportunity, then just carry on arguing about lipstick or body image. Men will call them “cat-fights” and sell tickets.

In a country where more large companies are run by men called Peter than a woman called anything and abortion rights are constantly under challenge, it seems crazy that people are bothering to read books like Hot Feminist, by journalist Polly Vernon.

It’s a book in which Polly, 43, says she’s allowed to be a feminist and be “hot” (attractive, not menopausal). She says that she has been judged harshly for saying publicly that she likes being slim and attractive and flirting with men.

“The heart of the matter is this: feminism has been hijacked by the dark forces of judginess, by our communally created fear that our every deed, word, thought, joke and tweet is being monitored for f..k-ups. Feminism is increasingly defined by a sense of what you can’t do, shouldn’t say.”

Polly then goes on to say that she likes being called a “chick” and getting wolf-whistles. Most of her arguments seem to be along the lines of “none of the other girls will play with me because I’m too pretty.”

A much better book on the topic is Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist, in which she says that as long as you believe in equality for women, it doesn’t matter if you break a few “rules”.

In the book, Gay, an American academic of Haitian origin, writes very accessibly about gender and sexuality, race, entertainment and politics. She backs up academic rigour with a tolerant open-mindedness and says she is a bad feminist because she is “flawed and human.”

“I’m not as well read in key feminist texts as I would like to be. I have certain interests and personality traits and opinions that may not fall in line with mainstream feminism, but I am still a feminist. I cannot tell you how freeing it is to accept this about myself.”

One book which explores feminism in an Australian context is Catherine Fox and Jane Caro’s book, The F Word, How We Learned to Swear by Feminism. In it, the authors, the authors explore how they and other women are negotiating the work-life balance, managing money, child-rearing and marriage and the role feminism has played in their lives. Instead of perpetuating the Feminism Wars, it offers context and some practical solutions.

And TERFs? I’m not totally sure about them, either, but they make for a great argument on Twitter. If you need a guide to the whole Caitlyn Jenner/transgender debate, then this New York Times article is excellent. But, even after reading it, I’m still not sure why a Texas abortion clinic removed the word “women” from its title “because it excludes trans people who needed to get an abortion but were not women.” If anyone can explain to how someone who is not a woman can get pregnant, I’ll buy them lunch.

In the end, if we women want to change things, rather than have pointless arguments with no conclusion, we need to ignore the Feminism Wars and focus on the prize. If we band together and get men to share their power, everyone will benefit. But it’s not going to be easy, because, in the words of writer Audre Lord, “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house”.

And if you are a woman in Australia today, with the right to be educated, vote in elections and own property, please stop saying that you are not a feminist, because that really annoys me. In her book, How to be a Woman British writer Caitlin Moran says “here is the quick way of working out if you are a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

a) Do you have a vagina? and

b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.”

Margot Saville practised law for one year before becoming a journalist. She has worked for The Australian, The ABC, The Nine Network and The Sydney Morning Herald  as well as writing The Battle for Bennelong in 2007. She is currently a freelance writer who lives in Sydney with her family.

Looking for more posts like this? Try these:

Women Against Feminism is a sad, sad place.

Why it is a myth that feminism hates men. And turns women gay.

Mia Freedman calls for feminism to be more inclusive.